Chappiage

Bragging Rights

2012-01-25T15:17:00.000-08:00

I have a journal that I write in for Ellie. It's more of a collection of letters to her that I plan to give her one day. I've been terrible at keeping up with it, and am sad at how few letters I've written over the last 15 months of her life.

Ellie is literally learning new words, sounds, and signs every day. She's become a sponge and sometimes I teach her a new word or sign once and she surprises me with how quickly she uses it correctly. For my own records I want to write down all her words and signs at this point. I worked on this list last night and woke up this morning adding a few more that I had left off. I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting, but here's a starting point:

Words she says:
Mama
Da (Dad)
ock (sock)
shews (shoes)
ock (clock)
cheese (when I say snack, she says cheese, her current favorite snack)
new (no)
pa (puff)
ya (yes)
Namy (Amy, as in Aunt Amy)
Bella (Buela)
Bobo (Buelo)
Pop (Hop on Pop-her favorite Dr. Suess book)
eyes
nose
hi
cheeze (cheers, which is always followed with a raised cup and waiting for someone to "cheers" with her)
keys
zzz (zip, as in zipper)
ot (hot)
bah (bath)
choo (train)
bowwowwow (dog)
She does lots of other animal noises, but I won't list them as words.

I've been amazed at how quickly Ellie learns sign language. I keep looking up new words to teach her because she learns them so quickly, and I feel fairly inconsistent with teaching her. I'm sure if I put more effort this list would be even longer. I love the idea of teaching her to communicate with signs when her verbal skills can't catch up with the knowledge she has. The fact that she can correctly sign all these things, listen to and obey commands such as "go get that spoon," or, "take that to your room," shows me how much she understands even if her body limits her to what she can say. With sign language, I'm giving her tools to communicate more than she could otherwise. It also has been shown to increase vocabulary later on because it's creating neural pathways and forming brain connections early. What's not to love?
Words she signs:
hot
bath
ball
eat
more
thirsty
up
off
please
thank you
milk
baby
bye
hi
music/sing
poop
There are a few more she has signed once or twice, but I won't count them until she uses them consistently.

She also can correctly identify many body parts:
eyes
ears
nose
mouth
tongue
teeth
head
hair
belly button
toes
feet

I guess this is enough bragging for one day by this proud mama. Our pediatrician told me today that at 15 months the average baby says "mama," "dada," and maybe three more words. I'm so proud of my verbal girl! I guess she's a lot like her momma.

DIY Christmas Gifts

2012-01-03T19:34:00.000-08:00

This year for Christmas I wanted to make as many things as I could. I got a sewing machine last year and was ready to put it to use. Here are a few of my creations. Most of these patterns I found online, so I linked to each page if you want to try to make one yourself. I had tons of fun coming up with ideas (always the hardest part of DIY) and seeing how each creation turned out. I'm pretty proud of each one!

Felt glasses cases, which were fun to stitch by hand.

For two of my nieces I made these super fun purses, and made a little matching doll version for one niece's new American doll. I put their initials on the front.

For my nephews I made sports pillowcases.

Reusable snack bags in a variety of different fabrics. I can't wait to make more for us to use.

A beach bag made from a hand towel.

I also made one of the pincushion jars, but I forgot to take a picture.

Two vintage book travel-tech organizers. I went to our local thrift store and asked to go through the books in the back not worth selling. I did this because I was planning on ripping out all the pages and the books out front are usually in good condition. Plus, I found more fun, old books in the back. The other book I used but didn't get a picture of was a college typewriting textbook. Talk about vintage!
I think this was a Spanish/English book on diseases:

The picture is upside down, but you can see where the cell phone can go under the four strips on the left. The idea is to have all tech gear stuff in one place (what looks like a book) while traveling: headphones, phone, chargers, cords, etc.

I made our newest niece an activity blanket. This is the only thing I've made where I literally had no pattern and made up the entire thing in my head. I started with some fun, bright fabric that had different textures. I added tags around the hand-sewn letter A (which her names begins with) and added some cellophane behind the A and the flowers for some added noise.

The cutest little models ever:

I didn't make this for Christmas, but I've been meaning to post pictures of my latest car seat cover that I made for my college roommate's little boy. This was my second car seat cover but this one is reversible. I'm looking forward to making one for our own little one arriving in June.

I can't wait to continue using my sewing machine to come up with more fun gifts.

Thoughts on Pregnancy #2

2012-01-02T15:27:00.001-08:00

It took us a year to get pregnant with Ellie. Before that we had miscarried and had a bout of unsuccessful "trying". Getting pregnant this time around wasn't a shock, as in, we knew it was a possibility, but we honestly didn't expect it to happen the first month, given our history.

We are thankful, of course. I'm relieved that I won't have to deal with month after month of waiting and disappointment. I wouldn't wish that emotional turmoil on anyone, and unfortunately I have several friends who deal with this today. I think about them all the time.

I wasn't sure if I was quite ready for another baby. We've always thought we'd like to have siblings close in age, but as Ellie got older and the thought of growing our family became more real, I had moments of doubt.

I worried about Ellie and how she would do without our undivided attention. Ironically, this is also one of the many reasons we want another baby. I think about having two in diapers at the same time. Or our tiny house and the fact that these two will have to share a room as soon as I decide I can't have a newborn in our room anymore. With Ellie, it was when she was 2 weeks old. (We both slept better as soon as she moved to her own room.) But again, this is also something we want.

I worry if I can handle two at home during the day. I wonder how we can afford another baby and all the doctor visits and appointments and other costs that incur with a baby.

I worry if our marriage gets enough attention now, let alone what will happen with another little one to occupy our time, thoughts, and energy.

I worry that I will be so tired those first several weeks that I will not give Ellie the attention she needs.

I worry that after having such a good-natured, easy-going, good eater and sleeper and overall happy baby that we are in for something altogether different this time around.

But then, I think about all that we have to look forward to. The intense love that pours out the moment we see our tiny little bundle. The cuddles and sweetness of a newborn. The opportunity for Ellie to have a sibling to love and play with and share with and to learn all the important lessons that happen growing up with a sibling.

I often question God's timing. And once again, in this process, I was a bit surprised at the timing of this baby. But I'm already seeing so many wonderful things about this. I know even future plans that I'm not yet aware of will be affected by this timing, and I see God's hand in it all.

I'm thankful that pregnancy lasts 40 weeks so that we have time to adjust to this new addition, from moving from a family of three to four, to all the other changes that will undoubtedly arise. This pregnancy feels like it's zooming by much more quickly than the last one and I'm trying to soak up all the time I have left with our sweet family of three before our life as we know it changes again forever. I can't wait.

Tea Party

2011-12-31T12:14:00.000-08:00

Ellie got this adorable tea set for Christmas and she loves it. She's almost always carrying at least one piece from it at all times, usually a spoon or a cup, or both.

I decided to set up her first tea party, complete with her doll and dog, and cheerios for a snack. She had to make sure her doll had a plate.

She quickly learned all about pouring "tea."

I have a feeling this activity will be a new favorite.

The Purple Sweatshirt

2011-12-30T10:11:00.000-08:00

I wasn't intentionally taking a blog-hiatus, but it happened. I can blame it on the busyness of the holidays and all the presents I handmade this year. More likely, I will blame it on fatigue, nausea, and classic morning sickness. Yes, I'm pregnant and as of yesterday I've made it through the first trimester.

We are due June 28 and have already had 3 ultrasounds. I have been less sick (not necessarily less nauseous) this time around but more tired. Ellie will be only 20 months older than her sibling, so we are anticipating all sorts of fun. I have already found differences between this pregnancy and the last. It is very different going through pregnancy when we already have a little one. I find I'm not as all-consumed with the pregnancy and at times even forget I'm pregnant! Having a toddler to distract me makes me tired but also is making this time fly by. June feels very near.

My goal for this upcoming year is to blog more consistently, so here's to hoping.

My mom gave me a purple sweatshirt that I wore as a baby and Ellie's been wearing it lately. She's almost outgrown it already, so I had to post a comparison:

(Me, at about 15 months)

(Ellie, at about 14 months)

Baby Steps

2011-11-16T21:24:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when we leave Ellie for a few hours.

Oh, The Places You'll Go!

2011-11-03T15:20:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big Halloween person. It's just the marker I use to know when I can start playing Christmas music. I guess I'm supposed to start being more excited about it because I have a cute little one to dress up. There might be part of me that thinks that's fun, but a bigger part of me just thinks it's one more thing where I'm supposed to be creative, something I'm not known for.

Two weeks ago our small group from church was having dinner together and all the kids were invited to wear a costume. This assumed that 1) I had a costume idea, and 2) I had it ready a week before Halloween, both incorrect assumptions.

Of course I had at least a week to come up with an idea, but a few hours before we were scheduled to leave we looked around and tried to come up with a costume. Just the day before Ellie had gotten her first year pictures taken, and the photographer had brought a huge balloon for part of the pictures. Why not incorporate that into a costume?

I used some brown paper bags to weave a basket, and in about an hour Ellie's costume was ready: a hot air balloon.

When Halloween Day arrived, once again I was feeling uncreative, so we used the same costume (although I did have to go buy a new balloon). I was trying to think of a way to combine costumes for Michael and I with a hot air balloon. (By costumes I mean something super simple and little to no work. We haven't dressed up in years.) This time, I looked for inspiration from Dr. Seuss:

I guess this means we can start playing Christmas music!

Wordless Wednesday: Like Father, Like Daughter

2011-11-02T15:05:00.000-07:00

Food for Thought and Is Organic Necessary?

2011-10-31T14:15:00.000-07:00

My last thoughts related to Superbaby, by Dr. Jenn Berman.

Since we began giving Ellie solid food at around 6 months old, I have become increasingly aware of food issues. From nutrition content to pesticide exposure, I have made it a priority to give my child the healthiest and most nutritious food I can find, and afford. We are vegetarian, and I'm constantly asked, "where do you get your protein?"

Well, first of all, vegetarians tend to be much more aware of food intake, and usually have overall healthier diets than meat-eaters. I always want to respond to that question with something like, "Do you get the proper amount of fiber? Do you eat enough whole grains in your diet? Do you know how much protein is necessary?" I think people are less-aware of their nutritional needs than they are willing to admit. Protein is just one of many things to be aware of.

(To answer the protein question, we eat a lot of beans and rice, eggs, cheese, yogurt, nuts and seeds, and cottage cheese. Did you know cottage cheese has 15 grams of protein in one 4 oz. serving?)

Dr. Berman focuses on a variety of feeding topics, including breastfeeding tips and several other feeding tips for the first three years. I want to simply explain what we do for our own child.

I have used a book called, Super Baby Food, by Ruth Yaron. It has great tips for which foods to introduce each month, and how to think about diet and nutrition with children. One of my favorite parts of her book is what she calls "Super Porridge." I don't ascribe to or follow every suggestion she gives, but I love one element of the porridge, and that is the complete protein element. Ellie eats super porridge, or my version of it, almost every single morning. I grind up a variety of grains: barley or brown rice or oats or millet or quinoa, for example. Sometimes I choose one or two, sometime I mix it up and combine several. Then, I also add to the mix a legume, usually dried lentils or split peas. Yaron gives a specific recipe and ratio if you are interested in getting the complete protein correct, which I am, so I do. I grind all these grains and legumes up into a powder, boil them in water for 10 minutes, and usually add my own touch, cinnamon and some fruit, usually apples or pears shredded finally. Ellie loves this cereal and I feel great knowing that she is getting a wonderful variety of whole grains and a complete protein every single morning, plus fresh fruit mixed in.

Another important tip Yaron gives: feed your child yogurt every day or as often as possible. It's wonderful for the digestive track. At first, Ellie didn't like plain yogurt, but she has grown to love it and now gulps it down. I usually mash a banana in it but I love that she isn't eating any weird chemicals or added sugar put into most yogurts. Plus, I've learned to enjoy this yogurt myself as I always eat whatever she doesn't finish. Bonus health points for me!

I have started to make my own bread, which I love. It's cheap, and I know everything that goes in it (especially no high fructose corn syrup). I make a whole wheat honey bread and I add healthy extras like wheat germ and flax seed. I feel good giving my child this bread, and I know she's getting excellent nutrition too.

The final topic regarding food that I can't ignore: pesticides. The question many ask is, is organic really necessary?

"Things that by their very nature are designed to kill come with risks. And they don't always disappear after doing the job. Pesticides can remain in the air, food, and soil; contaminate water; and accumulate in plants, animals, and people." -From Chemical-Free Kids: How to Safeguard Your Child's Diet and Environment.

A few thoughts to ponder on pesticides:

-There are currently 600 chemicals that farmers are legally allowed to use on produce and at least 50 of these are classified as carcinogenic, according to the FDA.

-20 pounds of pesticides are used per person per year in the US.

-Pesticides are present not only in conventionally grown fruits and vegetables but also in processed products like cookies, cereals, and crackers.

-9/10 kids under age 5 are exposed to 13 different neurotoxic insecticides in baby foods.

-Insecticides in apple, peach, grape, and pear baby food that is consumed by 85,000 children every day exceed the federal safety standard by a factor of ten or more.

-20 million children age 5 and under consume an average of 8 pesticides a day.

-Drinking nonorganic apple juice may expose your two-year-old to as many as 80 different pesticides, an exposure that is 20 times that of his mother on a body-weight basis.

Here's why you can't assume the government will protect us from harmful chemicals:

Pesticides are linked to cancers, birth defects, kidney and liver damage, reproductive disorders, and asthma, but they are still present in children's foods. The current system assumes that chemicals are not harmful until proved otherwise. This is difficult to prove because pesticides are too dangerous to be tested directly on humans (yet it's still ok to eat them?). The EPA almost never bans a pesticide that is currently in use. Wow. Scary.

80% of our pesticide exposure comes from food (the other 20% comes from drinking water and in and around our homes). If you feed your child organic food you eliminate nearly 90% of their pesticide exposure.

So what can you do? Well, buying organic can be expensive. We've chosen to focus on the "dirty dozen," the top 12 most pesticide-laden fruits and vegetables. Check out this website for more information and for the official EWG Shopper's guide. I have the free app on my phone in case I forget when I'm out shopping.

I'll list the "dirty dozen" here for you. These are the foods I do my best to buy organic whenever possible:

1. apples (98% of conventional apples have pesticides!)
2. celery (tests positive for 57 different pesticides)
3. strawberries
4. peaches
5. spinach
6. nectarines-imported
7. grapes-imported
8. sweet bell peppers
9. potatoes
10. blueberries-domestic
11. lettuce
12. kale/collard greens

There is also a list called the "Clean 15," the fruits and vegetables that are the safest to buy non-organic. The complete list is also on the above website.

1. onions
2. sweet corn
3. pineapples
4. avocado
5. asparagus
6. sweet peas
7. mangoes
8. eggplant
9. cantaloupe-domestic
10. kiwi
11. cabbage
12. watermelon
13. sweet potatoes
14. grapefruit
15. mushrooms

A few tips:

-Wash your hands after peeling skins of fruits and vegetables.
-Wash and peel conventionally grown fruits and vegetables.
-Remove and discard outer leaves of cabbage and lettuce.
-Make your own baby food.

One more thing to be aware of regarding food: genetically altered foods.

Over 75% of processed foods contain at least one genetically engineered ingredient. More than 30 countries around the world have significant restrictions or outright bans on the production of GMOs (genetically modified organisms) because they have not been proved to be safe. The US, on the other hand, does not demand any such labeling.

GE Foods account for:
-87% of soybeans
-79% of cotton
-55% of canola
-52% of corn

Read your labels and be aware of the above ingredients in most processed foods. Better yet, stay away from processed foods. I don't want my child to be the experiment for the long-term effects of this type of food.

"The children of North America have now become the world's lab animals on whom to study the long-term effects of eating GM products." -Jane Goodall

Toxins Lurking Everywhere

2011-10-31T13:21:00.000-07:00

Superbaby highlights, Part 5. See previous posts for parts 1-5.

Reducing Exposure to Toxic Chemicals

A few facts regarding kids and their increased vulnerability to toxins.
Compared to adults:

-Children's metabolisms are faster and therefore they absorb toxins faster.
-Children grow so quickly that dangerous cell mutations multiply faster.
-Their developing brains and immature reproductive and immune systems are unable to detoxify the chemicals to which they are exposed.
-The blood-brain barrier is still porous and allows more chemicals to reach their brains.
-Children eat 3-4 times more food per pound of body weight than the average adult.
-The resting air intake of an infant is double that of an adult.
-Children's diets are less varied than adults', which leaves them more vulnerable to toxic exposure.

Dr. Berman describes in detail the most significant toxins to be aware of: lead, PVC and phthalates, flame retardants, and cigarette smoke. A lot of baby products, even pajamas and mattresses, include flame retardants that are toxic.

6 Simple Things You Can Do to Reduce Toxins at Home:

1. Diapers-The average child goes through 6,000 disposable diapers during the first two years of life (and how many babies stop using diapers the day they turn 2?), which costs an average of $1,600 each year, not including wipes. 92% of all these diapers end up in landfills that take 250-500 years to decompose.

Even if you don't care about the global affect, the cost of disposables might encourage you to think twice. And if the cost doesn't deter you, maybe the toxins in them will.

Did you know that disposable diapers contain chemicals that were banned in women's products? They emit gases that can cause asthma-like reactions. Babies inhale more air per pound than adults so are even more affected by these pollutants.

You could switch to a less chemical-filled disposable diaper. They do exist but are a bit expensive. You can use disposable liners inside a cloth liner. You can use cloth diapers, which use less toxins but require and excessive amount of water to wash them.

We personally use cloth diapers and I absolutely love it. Yes, we use quite a bit of water, but I see this as the best of all the options. Plus, we have already saved hundreds of dollars, and plan to use cloth with future children, cutting the cost even more. A great website to check out is www.cottonbabies.com if you have any interest in cloth diapering. It seems overwhelming at first, but soon becomes a routine. I get a lot of satisfaction knowing my daughter isn't exposed to intense chemicals, plus we are saving literally hundreds of dollars (not to mention the landfill space). I would love to answer any questions you have about the ease of cloth diapering. Here's what we use, Bum Genius 4.0. We love them:

2. Lock up your keys! Keys have a high concentration of lead, high enough to be hazardous. Don't let you baby suck on or play with your keys.

3. Killing germs and the environment one antibacterial pump at a time-Basically, antibacterial soaps and gels use a lot of chemicals that are toxic and can be harmful, one specifically called triclosan that causes bacteria to resist antibiotics and can lead to weaker immune systems, decreased fertility, birth defects, and even cancer. A study in 2004 found that nearly 3/4 of adults and children older than age six had detectable levels of triclosan. You are better off just using regular soap, not "antibacterial" products.

4. Teflon-Apparently, the material used to make nonstick surfaces on your pans and other cookware emits toxic particles and gases. Another similar toxic chemical is found in fast-food packaging (think pizza boxes and styrofoam), and microwave popcorn bags. This is one of many reasons to skip microwave popcorn and make your own at home.

5. Kid's clothing-Be aware that most cheap clothing is made from petroleum-based synthetic fabric. Most of the pesticides used on cotton crops are considered by the EPA to be the most dangerous pesticides in common use today. I want to write one more blog post about pesticides and food, stay tuned. Just know that you can't trust the government to protect you from pesticides. Many are used to today that are extremely harmful.

6. Cleaning with chemicals- Infants born to mothers who frequently use chemical-based cleaners while pregnant were more than twice as likely to develop breathing patterns.

Some of the most hazardous products are oven and drain cleaners, toilet bowl cleaners, metal polishes, and adhesive removers, followed by disinfectants, furniture and floor polish, carpet cleaners, laundry softeners, spot removers, all-purpose cleaners, automatic dishwashing detergent, chlorine bleach, mold and mildew removers, scouring cleaners, and tile, tub, and sink cleaners. Do you use any of these? Start small, to get rid of these toxins. There are tons of websites for suggested greener and healthier ways to clean. Last week I cleaned my floors for the first time using a vinegar and water mixture. I found this website that has 1001 uses for distilled vinegar. Check it out. It's amazing stuff! Baking soda and water also works on toilets and for a variety of other purposes. Don't like the smell of vinegar? Add some lemon juice to your cleaning.

I'm still working on this whole idea of reducing chemicals in the house, but I have found it increasingly important as I have a little crawler who is constantly touching floors and other surfaces that I clean with chemicals, and of course putting everything within reach into her mouth.

Good luck reducing chemical exposure in your home!

Thinking Outside The Box: Screen Time

2011-10-28T15:33:00.000-07:00

Superbaby Book Review, Part 3.
Read Part 1 here or Part 2 here).

Before I discuss Dr. Berman's chapter on television and screen time for kids under the age of three (yes, age 3!), I have a few disclaimers:

1) Michael and I don't own a TV. We haven't owned one since we moved to Pennsylvania in 2007. We sold it and never bought one again. We've had opportunities to get one but have made the intentional decision not to get one again. We do watch TV shows, but all online. One huge advantage to this is that we don't waste time flipping through channels. We sit down to watch the show we want to watch, and then it's over. We love that the TV is not the center of our living room. I share this because I think I already have a slightly different view on television than the average American.

2) This discussion is not meant for anyone to feel guilty for watching TV or even for having your children watch TV. I simply want to present the information and let you make a better, informed and intentional decision regarding screen time. Which leads to my third disclaimer,

3) I only have one child. I have no idea what the stress can be like with two or more, or having the urge to stick my child in front of the TV to get a few moments of rest while I take care of the younger child. (I address this in the very last section of this post). Many people have shared with me that they shared similar goals and thoughts about screen time when they only had one child, but when #2 came along much of that went out the window. So, I want to humbly admit that I have the luxury of only one child at this point and can't comment on the convenience of TV with a second child. Maybe someday I will post an addendum to this one when I can comment on life with more than one child.

Until then, here are some thoughts on screen time and kids under the age of 3:

-The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under the age of two watch no television. None. Zero. That includes so-called educational media (more on that in a moment). Interestingly, by age 3 months, 40% of babies regularly view DVDs, TV, or videos, and by age 2 almost 90% of all kids in the US are spending 2-3 hours EVERY DAY in front of the screen. And, children ages 2-3 watch more than 4 1/2 hours a day. My first thought when I hear theses statistics is, what would they be doing if they didn't have all that screen time? Playing, moving, burning calories, and exploring, most likely!

-Regarding "educational" DVDs such as Baby Einstein: in 2007 it was proven that babies 8-16 months old that watched these videos actually knew 6-8 words fewer than other children. It definitely did NOT make them smarter. Babies need stimulation and interaction, not screens with colors and noises.

Dr. Berman's List: 14 Viewing Risks for Children

1. Attention Deficit Disorder-Basically, a study found that for every hour of television this group of children watched, at ages one and three, children had almost a 10% higher chance of developing attention problems. Being exposed to quick changing images most likely overstimulates the brain, causing permanent changes in developing neural pathways. This is a big deal in the developing brain of a toddler!

2. Autism-Autism is mostly thought to be biological, but, though controversial, there is a significant correlation between rising autism rates and more frequent television viewing.

3. Asthma-Children who watch more than two hours per day of TV are twice as likely to develop asthma as those who watch less. This has to do with breathing patterns that develop while watching screens and remaining sedentary. Get those kids outside to play!

4. High blood pressure-The more TV kids watch, the higher their blood pressure, regardless of whether or not the child was of a healthy weight. Again, it has to to with being sedentary.

5. Poor sleep-Amount of TV is related to irregular nap and bedtime schedules. The sleep problems associated with TV viewing in childhood often persist into adulthood.

6. Poor eyesight-Many eye specialists believe TV and video games are responsible for damaging children's visual development and are a major cause of impairing children's reading and learning abilities. Computer usage should be limited, especially for children under the age of 6. Yes, 6.

7. Academic problems-Too many studies to count that relate television watching, or even the television being turned on all the time at home, with lower grades and less read books. Turn off your TV or computer and read or play with your kids!

8. Depression-Depression rates have been found to increase by 8% with every additional hour of TV viewed among teenagers. One reason for this? Self-esteem is created when a child experiences mastery or a sense of accomplishment. This could be completing a puzzle, throwing a ball, even physical development. There is no "aha" moment when watching television.

9. Displaced activities-What your child isn't doing because he/she is behind a screen: spending time with parents and siblings, creative play, homework (for older kids)...the list goes on.

10. Drop in creativity-A study was done in a town who never had access to TV and then finally was wired with cable. Basically, kids who watch a lot of TV can only mimic or reenact cartoon stories on television, and bring no unique experience to their play. Instead of creating their own stories, they simply copy the plot lines they've seen on TV.

11. Aggression and violence-When TV was brought to the town mentioned in #10, the single greatest effect was increased aggression among children. Kids who watch cartoons with any form of violence are much more aggressive with other kids than non-violent cartoons.

12. Fear-90% of college students report experiencing a fear reaction from media during childhood.

Interesting fact: EVERY SINGLE G-rated movie released between 1939 and 1999 has at least one significant act of violence. Furthermore, the screen time devoted to violence rose from an average of three minutes per movie in 1940 (which still seems like a lot to me) to ten minutes per movie in 2000.

13. Addictive quality of viewing-Television is highly addictive. It has to do with brain stimulus. Develop good habits while they're young.

14. Harming family dynamics-Children learn how to socialize by watching our example. Think about the relationship dynamics on TV. What do you want your child to mimic? Also, media and technology has replaced family interaction, and connections as a family suffer. Families text each other from the other room while they are playing video games and eating dinner alone. These habits start when your baby is young!

Constant Exposure
-It's estimated that 51% of homes in the US have the TV on most or all of the time.

-5 Reasons why TV background noise is bad for your child:

1. Inner speech-The constant noise and distraction can prevent a child from developing this, which helps with problem solving. Inner speech is developed during creative play, helps a child to remember specific things ("I am supposed to wash my hands before I eat"), plan ahead, and work out steps to solving problems. Having the TV on prevents children from experiencing the quiet needed to develop this skill.

2. Decrease in quality and quantity of play-Studies of children ages 1,2, and 3 playing with TV on versus playing with TV off found there was an obvious decrease in play episodes, even for one-year olds, whenever the TV was turned on in the background.

3. Reduced interactivity with parents-One study showed that when the TV wasn't on parents were actively engaged with their kids 66% of the time, but when it was off the number went down to 54%. Also, active play was 74% when the TV was off, and only 59% when it was on. One mom even jumped from engaging 78% of the time down to 19% with the TV on.

4. Reduced language learning-Infants have to learn to differentiate between sounds, so having the TV on in the background makes language development more difficult. Period. TV greatly reduced the number of words spoken by parents to children. This is obvious. If your TV is off you are much more likely to talk to and interact with your child, but if the TV is on you simply will talk to your child less, giving them less opportunity to learn vocabulary and language patterns. (Not to mention the message you may be sending to your child that they are less important than whatever you are reading on your phone or computer or watching on TV).

"Television actually reduces the number of language sounds and words babies hear, vocalize and therefore learn." (Dr. Christakis)

5. Access to inappropriate content-When TV is on in the background, children are more likely to see something they are not ready to see. (Just think about the evening news or Victoria Secret commercials.)

Here is a list of other topics Dr. Berman discusses that I won't go into detail here, but think are worth reading:

-4 Ways Television is Making Kids Fat
-How Advertisers Influence Your Child's Thinking
-Recommended programming for kids over the age of 3

Finally, I want to end with a few of the most common reasons parents turn on the TV to keep children occupied during their first three years. If you can relate to any of these, Dr. Berman gives alternate solutions that work for each of the reasons, and they are definitely worth reading.

"I have to turn it on to make dinner."
"I need a few minutes to take a shower."
"She loves looking at the screen."
"I don't know what else to do with my toddler while I nurse my new baby."
"I don't want my child to be a social outcast."
"It's educational."

Many of the reasons parents give can be solved with solitary play. It's important for kids to learn to play for periods of time on their own. I agree with Dr. Berman that it's much easier to teach children solitary play from the beginning. Because I have no option of turning the TV on while I'm making dinner, Ellie has learned to either play alone for chunks of time, or to play and "help" me in the kitchen. She has her drawer of spoons and cups to play with, we talk and interact, and she's not in front of the TV while I'm preparing dinner.

My favorite tip from Dr. Berman? The Center for Screen-Time Awareness advocates two weeks every year where you turn-off your TV for an entire week. See what it does for you and your family!

Remember, this discussion is only to get people to think more about screen time, not to make you feel guilty for using TV with your kids. I humbly admit our TV viewing might look different if we owned a TV. Also, we are in front of our computers or Smart phones constantly, so this is something Michael and I are continuing to work on. We don't claim to have the answers or to even do all of this well.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on your own family's screen time experiences.

Teach the Love of Reading

2011-10-28T15:01:00.000-07:00

Superbaby Book Highlights, Part 2: Language Development
(Read Part 1 here)

-Dr. Berman spends at least a chapter on the importance of talking to your child. It may sound obvious, but it's not. The idea is to look for opportunities to talk to your child. Let him/her gab and then take turns. This teaches conversational skills. She lists tips for encouraging language.

-Use sign language. We have been attempting to use signs to communicate since Ellie was fairly young. Now that she has picked up on a few (she understands most of the ones I do to her, but she only signs a few back) it has already eased our communication. The sign for "more" has become Ellie's sign for food. Whenever she's ready for a snack or to eat she signs "more". She also uses the sign when she's out of food on her plate and wants more. We also sign "all done" and "water" and "eat." We've been slowly adding to this list, signing "bath" and "sleep" and "ball," but I admit we haven't been as consistent with these. Instead of whining or grunting, Ellie can now sign and communicate with me which leaves us both much less frustrated. I love it and can't wait to use more signs. Signing has also been shown to increase vocabulary and to help children acquire speech earlier, have higher IQ scores, and enhances brain development. What's not to love? (If you have concerns, she addresses many of the common myths about using baby sign language in the book).

-The most important thing I believe I can do for my child: READ! I cringe when parents use reading as a punishment. How do we teach children to love reading when it becomes a dread? As a parent I need to model my own enjoyment of reading as well. We have literally been reading to Ellie since she was in utero. (We received this Dr. Suess book, Oh, Baby, the Places You'll Go: A Book to be Read in Utero, and loved it!)

We read multiple books before every nap and bedtime. Ellie can sit in our lap and look at books for long periods of time. We point out the animals and make the noises and touch the fuzzy books. Not only is it teaching her to enjoy books and reading, it's wonderful bonding time as well. Kids who are read to have better vocabulary, better attention span and memory, are better listeners, have better reading and writing skills in school, and are more creative and imaginative, to name a few benefits.

Studies have shown that people who live in poverty who can't afford expensive schools or preschools or other benefits of the middle and upper class can still do one thing more than anything else to give their children a head start: read to them! It seems so basic yet for so many people it's not a given that their children will be read to.

I love this quote, which applies to so much more than simply reading:

"What we teach children to love and desire will always outweigh what we make them learn." (Jim Trelease, The Read-Aloud Book)

So, model reading and teach your children to love books!

I'm excited to write about the next topic, but it will be a bit controversial for some: screen time (computers, TV) and babies.

Wordless Wednesday: New Mode of Transportation

2011-10-26T09:35:00.001-07:00

I Respect My Baby

2011-10-24T15:27:00.000-07:00

I read a lot. I'm a researcher (probably one of the reasons I was a history major) and I enjoy learning new perspectives and gaining information. When it comes to parenting, I can't get enough advice. Obviously there is room for just plain common sense, but I also like to have my own inclinations backed up with facts and research.

My most recent book: Superbaby: 12 Ways to Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years, by Dr. Jenn Berman. I saw it at the library and it looked promising.

I don't intend to give a full book review, but there were some great things in this book that I would love to share with other new parents. Some of her suggestions may seem extreme depending on your current lifestyle, and I'm not saying that I agree 100% with everything she says, but I do think she gives a lot of great information with solid research and that parents would do well to at least consider her advice, and pick and choose what works for you.

Her book covers topics that include respectful communication with your child, language development, establishing schedules and sleep time, play time, tv use and screen time, eating and nutrition, and exposure to toxic chemicals (plus more, but those are my favorites). I'm going to highlight the most significant points for me, and in a number of posts instead of one long one.

Note: I will be the first to acknowledge I'm a first-time mom and an idealist, though I have an extremely happy, healthy baby, so I have a right to be. I only have one child and there is much that I don't have to worry about with only one child. I don't claim to have all the answers, but I do think the words and wisdom I've gleamed from this book are worth sharing. I also recommend the book if you are at all interested in this topic because I'm not going to do the whole book justice with just a few bullet points of what I myself found helpful/interesting.

Respectful Communication

-Narrate everything. Tell your child what is going to happen. My own current example, "Ellie, I'm going to wipe your nose now." Instead of just bending down and wiping her nose with no warning and the inevitable fussiness that would follow, she has quickly learned to lean into the tissue and patiently accept it. This from a child who would start whining when she would see me approach with a cloth to wipe her face. I also talk to Ellie about everything we're doing. Everything. It might be why she is extremely verbal now too. "We're getting dressed now. Here's your left foot. Let's put your sock on. Let's read a few books before your nap."

-Reflect back what you see your child doing. This helps them feel seen/heard/understood.

-Another tip I have been using is the idea that I shouldn't just shush my baby or just say "you're fine," when clearly, she's not. Even something as simple as changing a diaper sometimes can be upsetting, usually because she was in the middle of playing. (Another great example of a time when I narrate by letting her know we are going to go eat, or change a diaper, instead of just scooping her up in the middle of play with no warning). So, when Ellie starts crying or fussing, instead of just saying, "oh come on, you're ok," or "don't cry," I try to say things like, "I know you're not excited about this right now. I'm just changing your diaper and then we can go back to play."

I love the process of feeling like I'm really respecting her as a person, and making her feel secure and safe by validating her feelings instead of trying to brush past them. I know that I don't like to be told that I shouldn't cry. If I'm crying, it's how I'm feeling, even if it's because of something silly, and I appreciate being allowed to cry if I want. It validates my feelings instead of making me feel foolish. This doesn't mean my child rules the roost or that I don't have boundaries, because that's a different topic, but I do attempt to let her feel what she's feeling without telling her she "shouldn't" feel that way.

-Give your child effective praise. Not just "good job" (which I still find myself saying a lot-old habits die hard) but being specific and intentional. Give encouragement or focus on the process and not the outcome. "You are working really hard on that puzzle." Or, saying thank you, "Thank you for being patient while I make lunch. I know you're hungry." Dr. Berman cites some studies in which basically it was found that kids who receive praise for effort tend to do better and accept more difficult challenges, whereas kids who are praised for intelligence or simply the final outcome are afraid of being wrong or not being smart enough, and end up taking less risks for fear of disappointing or failing.

-Let her know how her actions affect others. "When your sister was crying and you brought her a teddy bear, that really helped her feel better." I love this because it teaches the child to think for herself and to see how her empathy helped another person. I want to encourage that sense of sharing and selflessness as my daughter grows.

-I won't sway you with my opinion on this topic, but there is a section called "10 Reasons Why You Should Not Spank Your Child," that is worth reading, regardless of what your personal opinion may be on the topic. I think it's important to be well-informed before making any parenting decision.

I can hear the cynics now. I know some of you may think it seems cheesy or redundant to talk to a baby in this way, especially one who is 12 months and may not understand everything (although I would argue that she understands A LOT). I have been using these methods since I first read them and not only do they seem to work for even a baby as young as less than a year old, but I have a sense of fulfillment in knowing that I'm treating my own child with dignity and respect, something I hope to do throughout her entire life.

Stay tuned for the next installment: Language Development. I'm opting to skip the sections on Security/Bonding and Establishing Schedules because that is intended for newborns, and most of what she says is very similar to how we parented Ellie during her first several months. It's worth reading for you new parents because many of her tips are literally reasons I believe we have such a happy, healthy baby who eats anything we put in front of her AND has been sleeping through the night since she was 5 weeks old. I can also recommend the other books we used in her early days, if you're interested.

Wordless Wednesday: Practice Makes Perfect

2011-10-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

I'm THAT Mom

2011-10-17T13:26:00.000-07:00

One year ago today was the eve of my daughter's birth. We don't have a crazy story of frantically rushing to the hospital at 2 am, or giving birth in our bathroom like these friends, or anything remotely close to labor at home. Instead, we calmly got in the car and headed to the hospital that afternoon at the predetermined time to begin the induction process. I was 5 days past my due date with low amniotic fluid, and my doctor didn't want me to wait any longer. Michael and I both wrote our experiences of Ellie's birth, here and here. The best lesson I learned was that I simply didn't care how she got here, only that she arrived, safe and perfectly healthy. We were blessed in these circumstances.

Tomorrow is my baby's first birthday. I've been struggling to even sort my thoughts and emotions around this. I have a one year old. Michael and I and Ellie make up a family. After years of struggle and waiting and hoping, we finally were blessed with the birth and presence of Ellie Grace.

And she's amazing. I know, I'm her mom, so it's easy to disregard my opinion at first, but it's true. From the beginning we've been blessed. She's a good eater (after a lot of hard work and stubbornness and dedication to the cause at the beginning), and now eats just about anything I put in front of her. A good sleeper. A happy, joyful baby, now almost toddler. She is an extrovert that loves people and smiles joyously at just about anyone who will give her attention. I already see glimpses of empathy in her, as she cries when other babies cry and loves to share her prized possessions, such as half eaten cheerios. She travels well and rarely fusses, even when sick or without her nap. Her teeth have popped in (she's up to eight) without much notice or change in her behavior while teething. We've been blessed with an extremely good-natured baby. We're almost spoiled by how low-maintenance she's been (we often wonder if our next child will be a hellion).

She squeals with ecstatic delight at the mere mention of "daddy." And doggies. (We're still working on mommy). She loves her baby dolls ("bee-bee", her newest word) and rocks them and kisses them and snuggles with them.

She loves to roll balls. She has several and could sit on the floor and roll them back and forth all day. We predict a future athlete. :) She loves books and will sit in our laps numerous times throughout the day and point out shapes and animals and her newest favorite, clocks. Yes, clocks.

In the past week or two she started doling out kisses to anyone and everyone who asks, and even to those who don't. Yesterday she even blew kisses. In case you are wondering, yes, my child is a genius. I believe that's the clinical term.

I laugh alongside her throughout our day. She's a chatterbox. Not that I know what she's saying, but I believe she's a bit of a verbal processor like her momma. And we giggle and laugh and find joy in opening and closing lids and feeding her babies their "bottles" and banging drums and dancing to music. Oh yes, Ellie loves to dance. She bounces up and down and smiles wide whenever music with a beat can be heard.

My heart is full to overflowing. I am blessed and grateful for this petite bundle of joy and energy. I am amazed at the intense pride and connection I have had with her since the moment I first laid eyes on her, and yet, it grows even more with each passing discovery and new word and cheesy grin.

Yes, I'm a first time mom and my baby is my world. Yes, I'm that mom that takes a zillion pictures of everything (I blame it on the scrapbooker inside me). Yes, I'm that mom who couldn't be more proud of my baby for figuring out how to open and close her barn, or how to stack two blocks on top of each other. I burst with pride this morning as she stacked her wooden shapes onto the wooden pegs. I will freely admit that I'm simply in love with my little girl. I miss her when she's sleeping or when I'm away from her (not that I don't look forward to or enjoy my down time, because I do). I love being a mommy. I was made for this.

I can't wait to see what year two will bring.

Birthday Party Fun!

2011-10-16T15:14:00.000-07:00

After weeks of planning and building momentum, Ellie's birthday party came and went yesterday. The cake was baked and decorated, homemade ice cream made, presents bought, Mexican food deliciously prepared, and friends arrived to our home.

Besides Ellie's giraffe-print dress, which I made, her giraffe cake was one of my proudest moments. Not only did it look adorable, but it tasted fantastic as a super moist carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. Thanks to our friend, Emily, for helping with the cake, and to Michael, who helped with the overall shape.

I also threw together a mini cake for Ellie to eat:

Ellie was her usual happy, chatty self. She loved all the kids running around, loved the balloons, and was a ham, giving me her cheesy grin every time I asked for a smile for the camera. (And now, any time she hears the word "cheesy," she gives me the cheesy grin, as in, "Wow, these enchiladas are cheesy.")

I didn't get to take as many pictures as I wanted, but here are a few. We have some video we are going to try to post soon.

We decorated with pictures of Ellie (notice the big, ugly tree in our back yard).

We were curious how Ellie would do with us all singing to her, because in Colorado we did a "practice" birthday party and she did not like us singing to her:

This time, she did well:

She was a little unsure about eating the cake. She mostly squeezed the cake and frosting in her fingers and the majority of it ended up on her lap. I'm not sure if she took more than a bite or two. I'd like to think it's because she eats so healthy that she wasn't interested in sugar.

We tried to get a family photo, but Ellie decided to generously rub my face with cake:

The party was officially deemed a success. I am still processing the emotions of my baby turning one. Maybe I'll blog about that later.
In the meantime, Happy First Birthday to our Sweet Ellie Grace!

Birthday Time and Sewing Project #2

2011-10-10T09:51:00.000-07:00

We had a great trip to Colorado, meeting Ellie's newest cousin. I posted pictures here.

We are busy getting ready for Ellie's first birthday party, which is this weekend. I know every mom says this, but I can't believe she's already one. This year has flown by. Ellie brings us so much joy. She is so happy that people constantly ask me, "is she always this happy?" and for the most part I can honestly answer, "yes." She loves people and isn't afraid of strangers. Whenever I fly she usually wants to sit on strangers' laps, and she flirts and waves to everyone she can.

I was trying to think of a fun theme for Ellie's birthday that wasn't super commercialized, and I thought about some of her favorite toys.

What do each of these photos have in common?

Granted, her "favorite" toy could be that only because it's what we gave her to play with a lot, but regardless, she loves her giraffes. I decided to attempt my second sewing project by making her a birthday dress. The fabric? Giraffe print!

Thankfully, my mother-in-law was able to assist and I know I couldn't have finished this dress without her as I've never sewed buttonholes before. The result:

We had fun making the birthday invitations, so I thought I'd share it, as I have been getting feedback about how fun it turned out:

We can't wait to celebrate our girl's first birthday!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

Ellie misses her Buela and Buelo!

2011-09-23T14:57:00.000-07:00

Ellie and I returned home from our fun trip to Idaho to see Buela and Buelo (Michael's parents). We had so much fun and also got to visit with some friends. Ellie warmed up to her grandparents quickly, and definitely recognizes them and their names. I will post pictures soon, but I wanted to get this one up.

I found Ellie looking at this photo book the day after we got home. She had pulled this out of her toy box, opened it, and was talking to herself, pointing to the pictures, and I realized she was pointing to Buelo and Buela. Good thing she gets to see them again in less than a week in Colorado!

Da Da Da Daddy

2011-09-11T14:12:00.000-07:00

Michael is traveling for work and will be over the next several weeks. Fortunately, I've planned a trip to Idaho to visit my in-laws as well as a trip to Colorado to visit my sister-in-law and our new niece due to arrive at the end of the month.

I miss my husband, partner in parenthood, and friend, and during these times am always grateful that I'm not a single parent on a regular basis.

Ellie knows when I'm talking about "daddy" and when I pull out the computer to video chat she starts saying, "Da Da Da." She misses her daddy, and here's why. Can you blame her?

See you in a week, daddy!
Love, Ellie

My First Sewing Project

2011-09-09T14:21:00.000-07:00

Ellie and I are flying to Colorado at the end of the month to visit and to meet my new little niece, scheduled to be born September 27. The three grandchildren (all girls) will be under one roof! Ellie and Isabelle have met only once, when Ellie was only a few weeks old, so needless to say we are excited!

I received a family sewing machine from Michael's parents for my birthday last year, and the only thing I had made with it was cloth wipes for Ellie's cloth diapers. It was time to try something new. I decided to attempt a fun sewing project for my new niece, and I found this blog with this pattern for a car seat canopy. I thought it would have been nice to have something like this with Ellie. We always draped blankets on the car seat but they always fell down and never stayed put.

I think it turned out well, plus I had fun making it. Only a few weeks until it will be put to use!

Wordless Wednesday: Our Little Bookworm

2011-09-07T15:12:00.000-07:00

Timing is Everything

2011-09-01T11:04:00.000-07:00

Every mom and dad has a unique story of how he or she entered parenthood. For some, it isn't planned and isn't even a welcome thought at first. Others feel "ready" and make a conscious decision to plan, down to the timing of which month they hope to get pregnant. Still others who have the deep desire to become parents experience all levels of heartache: from "trying" month after month, to ovulation charts or taking temperatures or miscarriages or in vitro...the list can go on and on.

We've had our own version of heartache. A miscarriage at 10 weeks (I wrote about it here) followed by months of not trying due to timing issues (going to Africa), followed by 12 months of trying before we finally conceived. It was almost 3 1/2 years from the time we first decided we were ready for a baby to the time Ellie was born. Our friends and family run the gamut from accidentally getting pregnant to years of frustration and agony over wanting to have a family. We fall somewhere in the middle, I guess.

Throughout those three years I constantly found myself telling God, "I trust your timing." I knew that I wasn't going to understand why we weren't able to start our family, but I needed something to help me make sense of all the hurt and confusion as I watched what seemed to be every person around me getting pregnant, except for me. (When a couple is "trying" they are acutely aware of every baby and pregnant woman around, and those seem to multiply exponentially with each passing month). I journaled and repeated I trust your timing...I trust your timing...and for the most part, I did. I had to trust that God's grace and love is bigger and wider than I can fathom, because that's the only way I could make sense of what we were going through.

We had a couple of rough months followed by what I'd say was the hardest month of our marriage. We were working through a lot and at one point questioned if we should put "trying" on hold. Within a couple weeks of all this I finally saw two lines instead of one. Finally. During one of the most intense, emotional months of my life, after repeatedly telling God for more than 3 years that I trust God's timing, what did I do?

I questioned God's timing.

We were overjoyed to be pregnant. We were full of joy and excited and awestruck. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit there was a part of me that thought, Really, God? Now? Why not a couple months ago? Maybe we could have avoided some hard things we were dealing with if we had gotten pregnant a few months earlier? Or, why not wait another month or two? Make sure we're on solid footing before we conceive? Out of the last 41 months, you choose THIS one? Now?

Hindsight is 20/20, sometimes, and I can say that I've come to understand in at least several small ways why this timing was perfect for us. I learned that God's grace and love really is bigger and wider than I can fathom. But also, I have the most amazing, beautiful, special, joyful little girl named Ellie Grace. God's timing IS perfect.

Why am I thinking about all this? Because once again, I am questioning God's timing. We are trying to understand what's in store for us next, and all I can do is cry out to God in frustration. And I keep hearing a response, deep in my heart...

Trust MY timing. It's perfect. You'll see.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-31T22:41:00.000-07:00

The Traveling Duo

2011-08-26T14:18:00.000-07:00

I recently returned from a 10-day trip to Oregon. Initially, I planned to head north for my 10-year high school reunion because I was in charge of planning it. Planning every high school reunion from graduation until I die was not something I remember in the job description when I ran for Senior Class President in high school. Fortunately, I was able to find some classmates who were willing to help do a lot of the legwork since I'm out of state. Everything came together and people seemed to have a good time. So much so, in fact, that many are requesting another reunion in 5 years instead of 10! I guess that's the sign of a successful reunion! We wanted it to be cheap, low-key, and no pressure, (and fun), and I think we achieved all those things.

I got to spend a few days in Seattle with some dear friends from college. One of them is headed to Tanzania long-term with her husband and their two sweet girls in just a few days, so we wanted to have a girls' trip before we had to say good-bye.

I have a lot of pictures from this trip to Oregon. I posted an album here on Facebook, and also here of the trip to Seattle, but I thought I'd share a few highlights over the next few posts.

My mom took us to the zoo with my brother's family. I wasn't sure how much Ellie would notice or take in, but she seemed to love it all. She pointed at animals, got excited and smiled and was very observant. Pretty good for a 10-month old! Maybe all the books we've been reading and all the stuffed animals she has at home started to make more sense to her. The pictures tell the story:

"Cousins"

2011-08-12T16:24:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we decided to head to southern Oregon and visit our dear friends from college, the Barsalous. We've adopted the kids as "cousins" to Ellie because they may never have any real cousins. Of course, as we told one of the boys, Ellie is the kind of cousin it would be OK to marry someday.

Ellie had a blast playing with the kids. Four kids makes for a busy and fun household, and Ellie loved every minute of it. Haddie loved playing with another girl, I think.

As "Aunt Melissa" (formerly known as Uncle Lissa) I had to bring some fun projects. Every morning one of the boys would come find me and ask, "Can we have our surprise today?" Such precious kiddos! We painted frisbees one day, colored calendars, and made foam puppets.

We took a day trip to a nearby river. Our little water lover was excited, despite the very cold water.

Michael and the babies.

Dads and daughters.

Ellie and Lillie...future college roommates?

Of course, we had to have a photo shoot and get some pictures of the kids. Hudson took the job of holding Ellie very seriously.

We love this precious family and can't wait to visit again. These kids sure do grow fast, and we never get to see them enough!

Wordless Wednesday: This past week

2011-08-10T16:28:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-03T12:42:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-27T13:14:00.000-07:00

Kings Canyon Hike

2011-07-25T13:47:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we decided to try out our new (used) gear from the recent REI sale. We scored great deals on hiking boots and a backpack carrier for Ellie, and we've been antsy to put them to use.

We headed to Kings Canyon National Park and Sequoia National Forest. It's approximately two hours east of Fresno and we'd heard that it was beautiful and comparable to Yosemite.

First we stopped at this waterfall to eat lunch before we made it to our final destination to hike. Our little water-lover was very excited about the waterfall.

Ellie ready to go:

Can you see Michael and Ellie on the far right?

I love the contrast of the new green growth rising out of the ashes of black trees.

Not the greatest lighting, but there is a big rock behind Ellie:

We had a great day. Ellie did wonderfully and loved hiking around, and the terrain was beautiful. We can't wait to go back!

I posted more pictures on Facebook. You can see the album here.

I am a Mom

2011-07-25T10:12:00.000-07:00

It's a strange thing to suddenly be a part of a "club" that I had been excluded from until now: mommyhood.

I've been thinking about what it's like to be a mom after years of wondering, hoping, praying, and desiring. I will never not be a mom again. I am now and forever a mother, and I am so thankful to have already glimpsed the amazing joy and privilege of being Ellie's mommy. I never knew I'd be so captivated by my beautiful girl. I was sure I'd love being a mom, but I really had no clue that I would be this enthralled. Michael told me recently, "you were made for this" (being a mom), and it's true. I am not defining myself as only a mother. I am more than a mother. I am a teacher and a friend and a daughter and a sister and a wife. But I sure love this new role.

The Moms Group at my church has been doing some fun activities throughout the summer. Last week we went to a park in town that has a fun water area for kids to play. Ellie loves water, and she loved crawling around in the water. She was fearless, going right under pouring water and playing everywhere.

Thanks, Christa, for taking a few pictures.

Living in Fresno

2011-07-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

If I'm being completely honest, Michael and I spend more time than we should complaining about Fresno. We miss family and friends all over the world and Fresno has yet to feel like "home" to us. Almost every person we know here is from here, grew up here, and all their friends and family live here. It makes it a bit hard to be from somewhere other than the Central Valley and sometimes we feel like we are encroaching on peoples' lives here. I don't always understand God's timing or plan for us, but we are constantly having to remind ourselves to see the positive things in our situation here.

Thus, I want to focus on a few reasons why Fresno isn't too bad. I wrote this post when we first moved here two years ago, and the positives are similar to now.

-Sunshine, and all that comes with it.

-Farmers Markets all over town. We could go to one almost every day if we wanted to.

-Outdoor water park fun.

-Proximity to beaches and sand.

-A swimming pool in almost every back yard (and friends who invite us over for a swim).

-Warm weather means Ellie and I go for a lot of jogs in the stroller. It also means family walks. (Below, Ellie was 4 days old.)

We've moved many times, and we always find ourselves looking back on previous phases of life with nostalgia. We often remember times that while they were happening seemed negative, but later, looking back, we remember with fondness. I'm sure we will do that someday with our time here in Fresno. (Disclaimer: We have no plans to leave Fresno any time soon.)

We are always learning and relearning that maybe the grass isn't always greener...

Happy 9 Months Ellie!

2011-07-20T13:28:00.001-07:00

Ellie turned 9 months on Monday. This means she's almost been here for as long as I was pregnant. To me, this side seems to have gone faster, but Michael claims the pregnancy went faster for him.

At nine months:
-She's eating a lot more finger foods lately. She's very stubborn and shakes her head "no" repeatedly if she doesn't want to eat something we're offering.

-She made the sign for "more" a few times, but hasn't in a little while.

-She's gotten a lot more ticklish and loves to laugh and giggle.

-She seems to say "dada" (daddy), "da-da" (ducky), and "da" (doggie). Now, for you cynics I will acknowledge that these all look like the exact same sounds from her. They are. But we know she can tell a difference between these three items, which also happen to be her three favorite things. :) Oh, and she has said "mama" a few times, usually when in the crib and crying for me.

-The biggest physical development lately is her standing and cruising. Not only is she an expert at pulling herself up to stand, but now she takes steps while holding onto the couch or coffee table, sometimes walking the entire length. We foresee walking in our near future.

I've been trying to take a good picture of her standing, one that represents all that she has been up to lately, but it's been hard to do. Here are a few glimpses of what I see throughout my day:

We love you Ellie! Don't grow up too quickly on us.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-20T11:47:00.000-07:00

An Extraordinary Ordinary Day

2011-07-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. Despite Michael being out of town for the night, Ellie and I had a good day together.

Maybe it was because this morning she finally let me sleep in to what used to be our normal wake-up time.

Or maybe it was her two really good, long naps today.

Or maybe it was how well she ate today, no stubborn battles or shaking of the head, "no," even finally deciding to like yogurt after four days of refusing it.

Or maybe it was the fun playtime on the floor with all her toys.

Or all the giggles and tickles and cuddles.

Or the way I sat and watched her play and stand and crawl and realized how quickly she's going to grow out of babyhood.

Or maybe it was the crazy fun we had rolling a ball back and forth and back and forth on the wood floor.

Or all the books we read.

Or the music we listened to.

Or the music we made playing the piano.

Or the calming, peaceful walk we went on after dinner, when it was a perfect 85 degrees.

Maybe it was the adorable shrieks and excited screaming that ensued as soon as she realized I was drawing a bath. For her. And her ducky.

Or the way she sat contently in my lap and made the motions and touched the pages of our regular nighttime books.

Or how she fell asleep for the night right away--no fussing, no standing--just slipped into sweet slumber.

Or maybe each of these ordinary moments of our ordinary day somehow transformed into a remarkable day.

On second thought, it wasn't just a good day. It was a great day.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a new blog sequence: Wordless Wednesdays.

Ocean, Sand, and Rice Puffs

2011-07-11T14:20:00.000-07:00

On Saturday we decided to take a day trip to the beach with some friends. Ellie has been to the coast a few times, but this was her first real experience with sand and water. It ended up being a bit windy, which made me a bit cold, but Ellie didn't seem to notice or care. Instead, she loved every minute of it: the sand, the water, the kite, the company. She did so well she didn't even mind skipping her afternoon nap.

Soooo excited!

Watching Daddy fly a kite.

Sand is fun!

Ellie loves kids and babies. Everywhere we go, she stops whatever she's doing to smile and wave at young ones. At church, she always finds the youngest babies in the crowd. At restaurants, she smiles and flirts with any kids who will glance in her direction. Adults are fine and all, but it's kids that she gets excited about. So, when Ellie had a chance to play with her little friend at the beach, she simply loved it. I thought this interaction was worth sharing:

Shutterfly Book

2011-07-03T20:52:00.001-07:00

I made a fun Shutterfly book of my recent trips to Oregon and Idaho. I love to scrapbook by hand but I had a coupon for a free book so I thought I'd try it out. It was fun to make and turned out cute.

Click here to view this photo book larger

Summer means Swimming

2011-06-30T11:31:00.000-07:00

When we were in Oregon last month Ellie had the opportunity to go swimming with my mom for the very first time. She seemed to enjoy it, although at first she mostly seemed to just be taking it all in.

On Memorial Day we had a BBQ with some friends and all the girls tried out the new kiddie pool.

We've had a few more opportunities to swim and play in the water, and Ellie seems to love it more with each dip in the pool. She kicks and splashes and really wants to put her face in the water. Our little guppy!

Can we say...bathtime?

2011-06-26T22:29:00.001-07:00

More Babyproofing Needed

2011-06-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

This week Ellie discovered how to pull herself up, and there doesn't seem to be anything she won't attempt to climb up, on, or through.

She started by crawling through our coffee table. This was happening at least a few times every day.

She also had to crawl through her bouncer every time she wanted to go to the kitchen (even though it's the less-direct route).

Then she realized she can reach higher places.

I was making her oatmeal and she had been playing in the living room. Within a quick minute this is where I found her (under a chair), very proud of herself:

Now she will pull herself up onto her knees to reach anything that catches her eye (especially her own reflection).

She was supposed to be napping. After I found her like this and put the gate up, she was mad (her new-found emotions could be another whole blog post) and it took her an hour before she settled down to nap (which is unlike her for nap time. She usually goes down without much of a peep within a few minutes). I guess she was having too much fun and I interrupted.

My little adventurer!

It's Always Nice to See a Familiar Face

2011-06-21T14:06:00.001-07:00

Last weekend we drove down to LA. We had to stop in Pasadena to pick up a few things for MCC, and our 4 hour trip turned into 7 from the time we left to when Michael dropped us off at the hotel. Ellie did well considering she was in the car for most of that time.

Ellie is really learning to crawl up onto things and this week we've really noticed her become more bold every day. At the hotel she climbed up into our suitcase and "sorted" our clothes.

On Saturday we went to a 1st birthday party in Orange County. Michael and Andy went to grad school in Pennsylvania together. Andy and Heidi lived around the corner from us that year in PA, and we spent a lot of time together. Many of our friends from that year are literally all over the world: Malaysia, China, Turkey, Azerbaijan, Chicago, and at one point there were many of us in different parts of Africa. Because of that it's always fun to see friends from grad school, especially when we live in the same state! Another friend from that cohort who lives in Pasadena, Mikhal, came to the birthday party as well. Mini-reunion time!

It was fun to meet their little boy, who was turning one. The last time we saw these friends was last spring, when Heidi and I were both pregnant, though she was much further along:

(Isn't this the typical pregnancy picture? At least it was frozen yogurt.)

Momma's Helper

2011-06-15T16:45:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Ellie, for helping me fold your diapers. We started here...

...And ended here. You were such a big help.

Life is so much more fun with you around!

Ellie is Growing

2011-06-14T14:27:00.000-07:00

I've been done working for over a month now. I had a wonderful trip to Oregon and Idaho last month for 2 1/2 weeks. Ellie was a great traveler and continues to grow and change even daily. Instead of trying to post all the pictures I took, here is a link to the album I posted on Facebook. I had fun taking pictures of all the friends and family I visited and all the people who got to spend time with Ellie.

I can't put into words how much I enjoy being at home with her (but I can sure try!). When I put her down for her naps I look forward to the downtime, but when I hear her awake, talking to herself while she waits for me to come get her, I get excited and almost giddy to walk in her room. I know she's going to get a huge grin as soon as she sees me. I love scooping her up out of the crib, hugging her and cuddling while she's still slightly groggy, before she is back in Go!-Mode where she doesn't stop and has to explore everything.

She's eating more fun foods all the time. For quite a while she was mostly a vegetables girl, and I realized that fruit usually takes 4 or 5 tries before she likes those, especially because fruit is often a bit tart without any sugar. She eats sweet potato, squash, carrots, peas, avocado, bananas, mangoes, pears, peaches, oatmeal, rice cereal, and most recently, scrambled egg yolk.

As soon as we got home from our trip she decided she was ready to sit up, and she's a pro already.

Her personality is coming out more each day. She is stubborn (a trait from her daddy?) and curious. She is happy and loves to laugh. She loves music and "dances" when music is on with a beat. She is full of joy and smiles all the time. People always remark how happy she is all the time. She waves to people and waves good-bye to her drum that tells her "good-bye" when she stops playing with it. She loves books, both being read to and looking at them herself. She is climbing in and through and up on anything she can find.

We are so blessed! Not a day goes by that I'm not thankful for our precious daughter. We love her so.

Painful Parenting Lesson

2011-05-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

THUD!

Never has a sound been so sickening to my ears. It took a few milliseconds to process the noise and the crying that immediately followed. In those micromoments I experienced confusion followed by sheer horror and realization as I ran to my baby girl lying on the wood floor, next to the extra tall bed where she’d been playing on only seconds before.

As a parent, I have been warned that accidents will happen, that I can’t protect my child from everything, that one of the hardest parts of being a parent is realizing how little control you have over certain things, and that everyone ends up with a horror story of an accident or near-tragic incident.

My first of these occurred last night. Unfortunately, it is one instance where I can’t say “there’s nothing I could have done differently,” because this was an easily preventable situation. She’s been so squirmy lately, but I convinced myself she’d be fine for just a quick moment on the bed while I ran across the hall (where I could still see her on the bed) to dump her diaper. That’s all it took for her to somehow find the edge of the bed and then the floor.

I was probably crying harder (or at least longer) than she was. Another common piece of advice is to not freak out, to remain calm so that the child stays calm. That was a fleeting thought as I screamed and scooped her up into my arms, suddenly hysterical. I held her tight, patting her, hugging her, consoling her, apologizing repeatedly...”I’m so sorry, my girl. I’m so, so sorry.”

She settled down, I nursed her, and she was soon playing and laughing and scooting all over the floor. A slight bump and bruise were the only evidence of the horrible fall. I called my pediatrician’s office just to talk it through. “99% of the time babies fall off the bed and are fine,” she said. Of course, she had to mention a few things to look for, and of course with each word I found myself imagining the worst scenario taking place: blood, hemorrhaging, internal bleeding, swelling, vomiting, lethargic, unresponsive...She could have landed on her face, broken a nose or ear, or who knows what else, but she didn’t.

This morning, she’s been happy and playful and back to herself. The slight red bump is barely even noticeable. The only scar from this whole experience is on this momma. I keep hearing that thud, playing the reel on repeat in my mind, and thanking God constantly for protecting my baby. It’s humbling to realize that I will continue to make mistakes as a mother, yet encouraging to know that God is watching her and protecting her, and I have to trust her to Him every single day.

Family Time

2011-05-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

Over Spring Break Michael's parents came to visit from Idaho. They haven't seen Ellie since the week she was born, so it was fun for them to have some high-quality grandparent/grandchild time.

We went to the coast and stayed for a few days. We relaxed, slept, read, and ate at Bubba Gumps.

Happy Easter!

Future Guacamole Lover

2011-04-17T16:55:00.000-07:00

I am a literalist. (According to spell check that's not a word, but I'm making it one.)

I read all directions to everything. Repeatedly. And follow them literally. This includes instructions to things like my shampoo bottle, kitchen gadgets, recipes, games (I'm an avid, literal rule-follower when I play games)...basically, anything that comes with words to read and inform.

With the internet and the plethora of variations to everything under the sun online, I often find myself reading 17 different opinions about how to do something before I make up my mind (to the chagrin of my husband, who often gets to hear all 17 versions). Since having a baby, these habits have only multiplied.

For example, cloth diapers. I emailed friends, I read and reread articles and books, I read blogs, I read the instructions that came with the diapers I finally ordered (and still look over them from time to time), and after six months I can say that I finally feel comfortable with the process of how to clean them and use them properly.

That's my hope in this process: eventually, I become an "expert" at what I am researching and feel confident in my knowledge and skill level. With a new baby, this applies to everything from cloth diapers to nursing to pumping and storing milk to naptimes and sleeping strategies to eating strategies to the daily updates I receive from multiple baby websites about everything there is to know or not know about raising a baby.

Enter the next milestone I've been studying and preparing for: introducing solid food. First, I had to decide when this should happen (based on all the research, APA recommendations, needs of my baby), and then what to feed her, how often, organic or not, frozen or fresh, hand-made or store bought...the list is seemingly endless.

The good news is that we've entered the stage of solid foods, and after much research I am feeling ready to give it a whirl (and I feel like my daughter is ready). Hence, today Ellie got her first taste of avocado. No, not rice cereal, but instead green, smooth, creamy, pureed avocado. Verdict? Success! She loved it, though at times she was confused by the texture and taste:

Waiting patiently.

After the first bite, she grabbed the spoon and tried to feed herself. I wonder what this means for her personality as she gets older?

Happy girl.

In case you're curious, we've decided to go mostly organic and to make all of our baby food at home. I'm looking forward to all the new flavors my daughter will get to experience over the next several months.

Funny Little Girl

2011-04-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

Our little one is getting quite the personality. One day Melissa shot this video when Ellie couldn't stop laughing at her little rattle. I got home five minutes later and shook the rattle in front of her and she acted like it was the most boring thing she'd ever seen. I guess it's only funny when mom does it.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

2011-04-05T21:03:00.000-07:00

We are enjoying the beautiful 75-80 degree weather. It's been absolutely beautiful and a great time for Ellie to explore the outdoors. Today she experienced grass, and spent many minutes just rolling her fingers across it, feeling it and playing with it. She's definitely in exploratory-mode these days. She sees something and army crawls across the room or ground or blanket to reach it and play.

She always crosses her legs while she's laying on her tummy. So relaxed and just "chillin'."

Playing with a mirror:

My beautiful girl, scrunching her nose.

If you look closely, you can see her new tooth popping through in her bottom gums.

Marking a Minor Milestone

2011-04-03T15:44:00.000-07:00

"This is her first time."

I looked quickly down as I said this, and started writing on the check-in sheet. I bit my lip to fight back the one tear trying to break through.

Ellie is five and a half months old, and this was the first time I've left her in the nursery at church. For some people, this may not seem like a big deal. And I know it's a blip in the radar of firsts and separation anxiety to come. I never thought I'd be one of those moms who can't be away from her baby for an hour. Or an hour and 15 minutes. But I was counting down the minutes, checking the time on my cell phone constantly during the church service and sermon (Sorry, Pastor James).

We have an amazingly great baby. And I know I'm the mom and I am biased, but seriously, she's one of the most easy-going, least fussy, happy, smiley, content babies I've known. This week she cut her first tooth and I was expecting a lot of fuss, since that's what all the books said to expect, but there's been virtually none of that. She continues to smile and be happy all day long.

But, despite all this, I was still nervous throughout the church service. I kept imagining that maybe she was crying or fussy, even though I knew she probably wasn't. And even if she was, she'd survive. Mostly, I just really missed her.

I dashed out of the sanctuary as soon as the last AMEN was said, and went to find my girl. She was sitting on the lap of one of the nursery workers, along with another baby. She was playing and smiling. She was fine. Happy. Unaware that I had been anxiously waiting to return to her.

"She did great. She was all smiles the whole time," came the report.

As I walked over to scoop her into my arms, I fought one more little tear. I felt a little silly for even feeling anxious. I knew she'd do just great. This whole process was the first of an endless number of situations where I will have to learn to let go as my baby continues to gain her independence.

Lucky for me, we can both take baby steps towards each new milestone.

Ellie Update

2011-04-02T10:11:00.000-07:00

We finally bought Ellie a jumperaoo so she could play and stand. We tested one out at a friend's house and she loved it, so we decided it was time to get one for her.

There's a tiny mirror on one of the toys, and she loves to bend her head down and look at herself, like in this picture:

We were out running errands and Ellie was contently playing with a few toys, and gripping all of them at once in her car seat.

Ellie has been scooting all over the place. We usually place her on the big mat in the pictures below, and within a few minutes she makes it across the room, playing with toys, or going after anything that grabs her attention. Yesterday she went for the coffee table and was grabbing books off of the shelf underneath. I guess it's time to "baby-proof."

The other big Ellie news is that she cut her first tooth this week! We barely noticed because she really hasn't seemed to be in pain or fussy. She has been eating slightly less, but that's about the only indication that something was different, and suddenly we noticed her bottom gums were a bit sharper than normal! Ellie is such a sweet, pleasant baby. She rarely fusses and when she does it's usually when she misses her nap and is a bit overtired...but, aren't we all a little cranky when we don't get enough sleep?

First Trip to the Zoo

2011-02-22T20:56:00.000-08:00

We didn't have a carrier with us, so Michael improvised.

She loves her giraffe toy, and got to see a real one!

Proud Parents

2011-02-22T20:36:00.000-08:00

Sunshine and 70 Degrees

2011-02-22T20:20:00.000-08:00

We are starting to have some beautiful weather in between the rain and cool days, so we are taking advantage of the sunshine when we can. I love my little girl and find myself taking pictures of everything, wanting to capture every cute look and expression and smile. I will be attempting to post more pictures over the next few days. She's growing up so fast!

Decemberish Pictures

2011-01-18T21:59:00.001-08:00

I have a ton of pictures from Christmas I want to post, but it takes forever to upload them on the blog. So, click HERE to see many pictures from December/January.

Happy 3 months to my baby girl!

Mom and Me Recently

2010-12-12T17:18:00.001-08:00

Dresser: A DIY Project

2010-12-04T22:28:00.000-08:00

Bought this on Craigslist for $20.

Sanded and primed it.

Painted it. And now it looks brand new.

Specially made for Ellie's nursery.

Dad win!

Tofurkey Day

2010-11-24T17:08:00.000-08:00

We've been blessed to meet so many good friends here in Fresno over the last year. Our church family has taken care of us in many ways: both last year and this year we had multiple invites for Thanksgiving dinner, were given a couple of baby showers, people checking in with us and simply loving us. We are thankful, especially not having family nearby.

Moving 13 times in 6 years has taught us the importance of making friends and connecting with people. In the last year we've also connected with what we like to call "The Family," and on Sunday "The Family" got together for Thanksgiving dinner, which includes, but is not limited to, four couples that each have a baby girl, ours being the newest addition, the oldest being 15 months old.

A couple of these families are also vegetarian like us, so this was our first experience of a tofurkey, and I was surprised how tasty it was. Apparently, it's all in how it's cooked, and this one was fantastic, with cranberries and all kinds of tasty things.

Below is a picture of the dads on daughter duty while the moms got their dinner first.

Here's a picture of three of the girls on my friend Katheleen's blog.

We are thankful for friends here in Fresno as we miss so many of our family and friends all over the world (literally)!

Cousins Photo Shoot

2010-11-14T18:15:00.000-08:00

Yes, matching dresses.

Visitors from Colorado

2010-11-13T12:16:00.000-08:00

Aunt Amy and Cousin Isabelle arrived on Thursday from Colorado. We've been having lots of fun since they arrived.

Isabelle was so excited to hold cousin Ellie. This was their first meeting:

Uncle Michael loves his girls. Story time before bed:

Yesterday we decided to venture out to a park in Fresno called Storyland and Playland. There are a bunch of nursery rhymes and play structures. It was our first time there, and probably our last. It was fun to walk around but the park was a bit underwhelming.

Group Photo. Isabelle wasn't too happy at this moment.

A natural with the little girls:

This is what you get when you give a three-year old a chocolate cookie:

Hanging out with Aunt Amy:

Cousins!!!!

Isabelle is turning three on Tuesday while she's here, so we'll be having a little birthday party for her.

Changing every day

2010-11-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

I've been enjoying my time at home with Ellie. Michael has been back to work and I'm getting into more of a routine each day. Last night we had our best night yet! Ellie woke up every few hours to eat and then went straight back to sleep, instead of staying up for hours and fussing like she has been at 3am. It was the first night where I just got up, fed her, and put her back to bed, which means Michael got a full night's sleep! I'm hoping this is due to more concerted efforts to keep her awake during the day, and she's getting used to nighttime.

At our last appointment on Monday Ellie weighed in at 7 lbs 12 oz, so she's definitely passed her birth weight. She's eating well, although we've had a few issues. There are many times when I worry about her getting enough to eat, but she definitely seems to be thriving.

I take a lot of pictures throughout the day. I can't help posting some more of my favorite photos from recently:

Ellie's Christmas stocking arrived in the mail from our friend LeAnn. She made Michael and my stockings, as well as most of the Chapman family's. She is very talented and made a beautiful stocking. We can't wait to use it this year!
My mom told me that when I was born all the nurses and doctors commented on how big and long my feet were. Well, Ellie has been getting the same comments from the nurses and doctors. I guess that's one thing we know she inherited from me. :)

Ellie loves going on walks with mom.

I just discovered in the last few days that Ellie enjoys hanging out with her stuffed friends on the floor during her "awake" time. Other activities during this time usually include reading stories, singing songs, and sitting in her bouncer.

Our next door neighbor brought this outfit over this week, and I love what it says. It's so true. I am amazed and overwhelmed with gratefulness every single day for this beautiful baby girl that we get to call ours:

Pictures

2010-11-11T08:48:00.000-08:00

A few more favorite photos from the first week:

Special time with the grandparents:

Making coffee with dad:

Our little hot dog on Halloween. We didn't take her out in this but had to get at least a picture. We decided it was a veggie dog for her vegetarian parents.

Questions of a new mom

2010-11-03T20:48:00.001-07:00

How can I get her to wake up?

Is she eating enough?
Is she eating too much?
Is she sleeping enough?
Is she over-stimulated?
Is she under-stimulated?
Will she ever wake up?
Will she ever go to sleep?
Is her diaper too tight?
Is her diaper too loose?
Should I give her a bath?
Is she too cold?
Is she too warm?
Will she ever burp?
Will she pass out from turning so purple from crying?
Will she ever sleep through the night?
Is she gaining enough weight?
Should I shower or nap?
Should I clean or nap?
Should I do laundry or nap?
What should I do while she sleeps?
What did I eat that is causing her to do this?
Can she breathe with that stuffy nose?
Is she going to scratch her eyes?
Am I holding her too much?
Is she crying too much?
Why is she crying?
What can I do to stop her crying?

How can I get her to go to sleep?
Will I ever figure this out?
How can I love this little girl so much?

What else am I forgetting to ask?

First Favorite Moments

2010-10-30T20:03:00.001-07:00

We're working on getting into a routine here at the Chapman household. We love Ellie so much and feel so blessed to have brought her home, healthy and beautiful. We are very much in love with our little girl.

I have found myself extremely weepy at moments, probably due to a lot of hormones, but I am also just in awe and so grateful to have been given such a precious gift. I think the last 12 days since we had Ellie have gone by faster than the last couple months of my pregnancy! That could be because we are on a three-hour continuous cycle of feeding, sleeping, and trying to function on little sleep. Either way, time is flying and I already get sad at moments thinking about how fast she's changing and growing. (Such a cliche mom-thing to say, I know).

Here are pictures to highlight a few of my first favorite moments:

These first three are some of my favorites. I was a total mess from no sleep all night and surgery, and was weeping like crazy, but this was the first chance I had to hold Ellie. After my C-section Michael went with Ellie into the nursery while I was sewed up and taken to post-op. She was born at 9:13 and I didn't get to hold her or see her again until after 11. I sat in a room by myself in bed, legs completely numb and completely groggy and literally couldn't keep my eyes open, waiting to hold her. As soon as they placed her in my arms I couldn't stop crying. She was so beautiful, and perfect, and I was so thankful to be holding her. It had been a long road to get to this moment.

The hospital really encourages "skin-to-skin" time, where the parent (mom or dad) holds the baby on a bare chest while the baby is just in a diaper. It's all about stimulating the baby and creating that special bond. I have surprised myself with how much I love this time with Ellie. She's so little right now, and fits perfectly on my chest, and I get sad thinking that at some point she'll be too big for this. Some days when I'm feeling extra emotional, or Ellie's had a rough feeding or just can't settle down, I just head to the bedroom and spend quality skin time with her. I can't put into words how special that time is.

Ellie loves to hold her fists by her chin. The other day I looked at her 20-week ultrasound picture, and she is holding her fist right next to her face. I guess she's been doing that for a while!

We had read that newborns will mimic right from birth, so I started sticking my tongue out, and she responded right away by sticking her tongue back at me.

Daddy has the magic touch.

I absolutely love this picture. She loves her daddy so much already, and loves to sleep on his chest. This is a common site around home these days, especially at 2am.

We've taken lots of pictures, so we'll try to post more soon. I had to laugh at myself the other day when Ellie was gripping the side of her car seat and I pulled my camera out to take a picture. She is definitely a first child, as we take pictures of every little thing! We are such proud parents. :)

The Many Blankets of Ellie Grace

2010-10-26T20:30:00.000-07:00

Ellie loves the many blankets she's received so far. Here are some of them in no particular order:

This one was given by our good friend Denise. Thanks Denise!

Michael's mom quilted this one.

And Melissa's mom this one.

Michael's coworker picked this interactive one up from a great store.

And finally, this one was made by another MCC co-worker.
She's is going to love them all!

Ellie's Birth Story-As seen through Melissa's Eyes

2010-10-21T11:07:00.001-07:00

(This is Part 2 of Ellie's Birth Story. Be sure to read Michael's version, below, first.)

I don't have much to add to Michael's version of what happened at the hospital, except to say I couldn't have done it all without him by my side every moment!

I think God always finds poignant moments to teach me about his love and grace, and this experience was one of them. I had had three ideals about giving birth: no induction, no epidural, and no c-section. All three of these ended up happening, but I have zero regrets. All I could think about and focus on was having a healthy baby at the end of this process, and that's what I have.

I couldn't believe how quickly my contractions started on Sunday night, and how quickly they became painful. They were about every 3 minutes beginning about 9 or 10pm and lasting all night. Michael said he was my pain management tool, and that's an understatement. He stood next to my bed and rubbed my back through each contraction, coaching me and talking me through each breath. I wanted to give up many times in the night, but he was there, encouraging me and helping me. This was a team effort, and he did this for hours and hours, all through the night, with no sleep.

As the clock neared 6am, my "goal" time to hopefully have progressed, my contractions were so bad that I couldn't relax. The hospital always asks, "How's your pain, on a scale of 1 to 10?" and I HATE that question. It seems so arbitrary to me. I always want to say, "compared to what?" Plus, how do I know if I'm just being a wuss? Maybe my perception of really painful contractions is really not as bad as what was coming. But, that's what worried me. When I found out I was only at 4 cm and it was going to still be many hours of labor, I knew I was going to need something to help me relax.

When the nurse came in and told us that Ellie's heart rate was dropping during contractions, we were both obviously alarmed. They refused to give me any narcotics, and this is when the big epidural question came into play. After debating and talking about it with family and the nurses, and after checking me again and seeing no more progress, I decided the best thing for the baby truly would be for me to have an epidural. My hope was that it would help me relax enough and that that would in turn help her heart rate. I don't regret the epidural at all. The moment I got it I began to relax and calm down. My only regret is that maybe I should have gotten it an hour or two before, instead of trying to be so "tough" and push through.

Once the epidural was going, and the heartrate continued to be a major concern, all I could think about is, "Please God, I don't care how she gets here, I just want a healthy, safe baby." Once the decision was made to go through with the c-section, I felt relief, and just hope, that she'd be here soon and safe.

The c-section was very quick, and suddenly I was face-to-face with the most beautiful site I'd ever seen. She was alive, and crying, and so was I.

The entire process was exhausting, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. That being said, every time I look at our precious baby girl I know I'd do it all again in a heartbeat, no questions asked. I have been overwhelmed by how much love I feel for our daughter. She's produced such intense, protectionist emotions in me. During the first 24 hours I kept thinking, "I can't believe how much I love this little girl." But now, after she's been here for 74 hours, I know I love her even more.

God has been so good to us and we are so thankful for Ellie Grace Chapman.

Click here to see some pictures of Ellie Grace. We'll upload more soon.

Born on October 18, 2010 at 9:13 am. 7 lbs 4 ozs, 20 1/4 inches long.

Ellie's Birth Story - as seen from Michael's eyes

2010-10-19T23:13:00.001-07:00

Sunday afternoon arrived, and we packed and prepared to head to the hospital. It was a bit weird to just take our time and head in as though nothing was happening. You always picture yourself frantically finding your keys, rushing to the hospital, and timing contractions as you go. But this was different, we strolled into the front doors of the hospital, checked ourselves in, and got ready for the ride. We’re separating this post into three sections, since our labor experience split itself naturally into three different parts.

Induction

The nurse started the induction process around 5:30 pm Sunday night. This meant that a suppository that helps dilate the cervix was given to Melissa and was supposed to work for about twelve hours. For many women it takes the full twelve hours for the suppository to work. By 7:30 pm, two hours after it was administered, Melissa was feeling contractions about every three minutes. The contractions got stronger and stronger, and by 11:00 pm Melissa was feeling full strength contractions that were lasting 30 - 45 seconds. They continued to come every two to three minutes all night long, and progressively got stronger and stronger. By 2:00am Melissa was dilated to 1 cm. The contractions continued. By 6:00am Melissa was in quite a bit of pain, so the nurse checked her progress again. She was at 4cm. I was the pain management tool, since Melissa didn’t take any medication. It was a long, but exciting night of watching the baby’s heartbeat on the monitor, helping Melissa get through each contraction, and doing whatever I could to help her be comfortable. Melissa quickly got more and more tense during each contraction. Soon she was asking for some narcotics to take the edge off the pain. The nurse was going to get the medication when she thought to review the heart rate monitor logs. The nurse noticed that Ellie’s heart rate was dropping during each contraction. It would return to normal pretty quickly, but it was progressively getting a bit worse during each contraction. So she informed us that Melissa could not go on any narcotics since they affect the baby and would reduce her heart rate (which is bad since it was already going too low.) Being the trooper she is, Melissa managed to make it through another hour, to 7:00am without any medication. She went to the restroom and I noticed that her bed was pretty wet. She noticed some leaking as well and we were excited to see that her water had broken. Things seemed to be moving along pretty well now. Melissa’s doctor came in, checked her out, and decided she was still at 4cm and that in fact her water had broken. I called the grandparents and told them it might be time to come.

On Edge

Right around 8:00am, Melissa decided she would get an epidural since she was so tense during each contraction. This was a tough decision for us, as she really did not want an epidural, but she had worked so hard and with the baby’s heart rate struggling a bit she was concerned that the tension was causing distress in Ellie. The epidural was administered and Melissa began feeling much better and was only slightly noticing the contractions. Ellie’s heart rate continued to drop during each contraction, and started taking longer and longer to come back to normal. The nurse tried changing Melissa’s sitting positions, to see if that helped, but it didn’t. Ellie continued to struggle a bit. The baby heart monitor that was strapped to Melissa’s stomach wasn’t picking up Ellie’s heart rate very well, so they inserted an electrode monitor that attached itself to Ellie’s scalp. By 8:45am the nurses were concerned about Ellie enough that they pulled our doctor out of a surgery to get his opinion and talk with us. It was clear that Melissa was not making much progress, and so the remainder of labor would be long and painful, and since Ellie’s little heart was struggling, and even just a few more hours might put her into true fetal distress, causing other problems. The other option would be an emergency C-Section to get Ellie out quickly before any other problems occurred. We decided that all we wanted was a safe and healthy baby regardless of how she got here. We told this to the doctor and we all decided a C-Section would be the best. We prayed over Melissa and Ellie with the nurses bustling about. Once we were done Melissa was wheeled off to the operating room. I put my ridiculous scrubs on, and waited in the empty room we had occupied for twelve hours. Twenty minutes felt like an hour. I was worried they forgot to come and get me.

C-Section

I walked into the delivery room. Melissa was wide awake and looking at me. I sat with her for a bit as the doctors worked their magic. At 9:13am I stood up, looked over the sheet between Melissa and the doctors and saw the most beautiful back end of a baby I have ever seen. I went over, grabbed Ellie as she coughed and gurgled, and carried her over to get a glimpse of her proud, tired mama. I think it was love at first sight. I put her down, cut the cord, and then went back and got our first family photo.

Ellie had a pretty severe angled cone head. The doctors informed us that this was because she was trying to come out slightly sideways, and at the same time her umbilical cord had somehow gotten placed across the top of her head, essentially blocking her from making any progress down the birth canal. This was also most likely causing Ellie’s reduced heart rate since each contraction put pressure on the cord. Had Melissa continued to labor naturally, most likely no progress would have been made and could have cause unthinkable damage to our little one.

When I walked into the nursery with Ellie to get her checked out, the pediatrician said to me (knowing that we really did not want to have a C-Section), “There are way too many unnecessary C-Sections in the world today, but this was not one of them.” We feel so lucky to have a safe and healthy baby, and we already love her so much.

Progress, or Lack of Progress

2010-10-13T19:32:00.000-07:00

Today.

Today was my due date. (Well, I've had four due dates, one being tomorrow, so maybe I'll get lucky.) Today has come and gone.

I had my 40-week check-up today. They did an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid, and it was fun to see our baby at full-term. We learned a few things: what we've thought is her foot kicking me this whole time was her elbow stretching; she's predicted to be about 7 pounds 1 ounce; at her last ultrasound she was growing faster than average, and now she's a bit below average.

They also did a non-stress test where they hooked me up to a monitor to check her heartbeat, fetal movement, and contractions. I thought I was having contractions every time she was moving, because her heartbeat shot up from about 130 to 160 or 170, but apparently, there were no contractions to be had.

According to my doctor, everything looks good. I'm healthy, all my tests are normal, great blood pressure. Did I mention my total weight gain has reached 50 pounds!?!

The one slight concern (besides that I'm at my due date and still no baby) is that my amniotic fluid is on the low side, so they don't want me to wait much longer. Therefore, they scheduled me to go to the hospital on Sunday afternoon to begin the induction process. They will first attempt a cervical ripening agent (I won't go into detail), and then early Monday morning, if still no contractions, they will start me on Pitocin to help jumpstart contractions. As my doctor said, by Monday night, I should have my baby.

I was fairly frustrated and discouraged about this. I have really been hoping to deliver naturally, and specifically, do NOT want to be induced. But, Michael and I recently discussed how I need to hold some of my hopes and expectations of this process loosely, since anything can happen, so this is one of those situations. I am thankful that I've had such a healthy, relatively uneventful and pleasant pregnancy, even up to these last few days. I've been going on multiple walks every day, and am not sure I could be any more ready for this baby (as "ready" as one can be). My mom is here, and Michael's parents will be here on Friday.

I still have a few days to see if she comes on her own. Either way, the most important thing is ending this process with a healthy baby, regardless of how she gets here. That's my focus for the next few days, as I go on walks, eat spicy foods, and try all the other old wive's tales to get this baby motivated to leave her cozy home!

Ready

2010-10-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

Cloth diapers are washed and folded and ready to use. Birth plan is written. BOB Revolution has been purchased (yes, we broke down and bought the stroller of our dreams, and we are super excited to start using it). Our house is unpacked and organized. My mom flies in tomorrow.

Our to-do list is finished. The last thing on my list was to finish packing for the hospital, and I finally did that. There are a few little items we still need to purchase, but we plan on waiting until after she's born.

10-10-10 came and went, with no sign of Ellie. Oh well, I heard the hospital was going to be packed with women scheduling C-sections and inductions on that date. I'd still prefer to have Ellie arrive in her own timing. I just hope that timing is soon!

We are considering today our last full day together, as family begins to arrive tomorrow, and then sometime soon, Ellie. So, we plan to make a day of it, our last full day as just the two of us.

Couples Photo Shoot

2010-10-07T09:45:00.001-07:00

Our friend Kathleen came over to our house and took a few pictures for us. These are me at 38 1/2 weeks pregnant:

The Nursery of Ellie Grace

2010-10-03T21:07:00.000-07:00

We are very happy and settled into our new home. Multiple times I day, I turn to Michael and just say, "I really like our house," or, "this little home will just be perfect for bringing Ellie home to."

We are really happy here and are so thankful for the way God provided this place for us. We'll try to post a few pictures of the whole place soon, but for now, here are some pictures of Ellie's room. The landlord told us we could paint the walls if we wanted to, but the colors were basically what we were thinking, so we just left them as they were.

I knew I wanted purple and brown in the room, but that's as far as I had thought through. I had also pictured her name up on the wall. I bought different purple scrapbook papers and put them on wooden letters.

Next are a couple pictures of the room. Michael bought a dresser we are refinishing and that will be the changing table as well. The other corner of the room (not pictured) has our new Pack 'N Play, which has a changing station on it. The quilt on the crib was made by one of Michael's co-workers at MCC.

We can't wait to welcome Ellie Grace to her new room and home!

Baby Girl Chapman AKA...

2010-09-22T20:34:00.001-07:00

A month to go

2010-09-10T22:08:00.000-07:00

Less than 5 weeks until our due date:

This week I had my 35-week appointment, and now I will begin going to the doctor every week until the baby comes. It's surreal to have the next five weeks of appointments already scheduled, all the way up to our due date!

I've had a hard time differentiating between the baby kicking and contractions. During my appointment the nurse practitioner was measuring me, and suddenly said, "Oh! You're having a contraction right now." I was able to finally figure out the difference, mostly. I still have times when I'm not really sure, but since there's no pain, just a bit of pressure, there's nothing to worry about.

I've continued to gain tons of weight each week. I'm tired of feeling frustrated by it and have decided to just stop worrying about it. I've far surpassed the "recommended" weight gain for my pre-birth BMI, but oh well. I don't feel like I've used the pregnancy as an excuse to go crazy and eat irrationally. I know I haven't been nearly as active as I'd hoped to be. I guess I'll just have to work hard once the baby is here. Looking forward to some P90X, whenever I can start working out again!

We have to be out of our apartment next Sunday. Hopefully we have a house to move into!

35 Weeks

2010-09-07T21:05:00.000-07:00

Five weeks doesn't feel like very much time. That's about a month. Wow. On the one hand, I'm anxious to meet our little girl and wish time would fast forward. On the other hand, I think through all the things we have left to do, (and the intimidating process of going into labor) and I pray she doesn't show up anytime soon!

This weekend we had some more car trouble to deal with. We are working hard to find a house because we have less than two weeks until we have to be moved out. We have a number of prospects, but nothing is set yet. Also, Michael is going to be out of town for three days this weekend...we're praying especially that Baby Chapman doesn't decide to make an appearance then. I am trying to think through all the loose ends I need to wrap up at work over the next couple of weeks. We have quite a few major baby items we still need to purchase. We need to pack a bag for the hospital, find a pediatrician, make some decisions about immunizations, finish reading "On Becoming Baby Wise," pack our entire apartment...the list goes on and on.

I'm beginning to sleep much less comfortably which means I feel sleep deprived these days, but I just see it as practice for all the sleepless nights in our near future.

We are both so excited and can't wait to meet our baby in a few weeks. We are so thankful and so blessed by this gift from God. It's been a long journey, and we are so thrilled that we are about to become parents. I can't imagine a better father than Michael...I can't wait to see him be a dad.

34 weeks

2010-09-02T21:49:00.000-07:00

We've felt very blessed to make some really great friends in the 12 months that we've lived here in Fresno. A couple weeks ago a good friend from church hosted a couple's baby shower for us. It was fun to have all the couples we've met in our young marrieds group at church, as well as some other couples we've met in Fresno all together in one place. We felt loved and "showered" with a lot of adorable clothes, as well as a lot of things that we need. We're finally feeling like some of those necessary non-clothing items are being crossed off our list! Here's me on the way to the shower, at 32 1/2 weeks. We meant to take pictures at the shower, but forgot.

Last night the sweet women in the Women's Bible Study group at my church held a shower for me. It was a fun night with the ladies, and once again we are feeling so blessed by the gifts and the love and support from our church family. Here's what I looked like last night. I really can't believe how much bigger I seem in less than two weeks!

Tonight we went to our second childbirth class. We weren't going to have a tour of the hospital until the fourth class, but the teacher decided to take us over there tonight. I was excited to see it. It's definitely helping me to visualize the birthing center, the room, the hospital, the layout, etc. It's also been good to talk through some breathing techniques, and to just be comforted in knowing that I have a lot of options as far as bringing in an exercise ball to sit on, or the flexibility to do squats and walk around if I so choose. I'd like to deliver as naturally as possible, but am not going to put that pressure on myself either. My preference is NOT to be induced, and if I end up needing some kind of drug, I definitely don't want the full numbing epidural.

Another 34-week picture (today).

My doctor has mentioned a few times that most women stop working around 36 weeks. Well, that's less than two weeks from now! I plan to work later than that, but just knowing that deadline is so near makes me realize I need to at least start making arrangements for when I'm not at work. Time is ticking!

Moving, Again

2010-08-29T20:27:00.000-07:00

(This is me at 32 weeks)

We are in the middle of our 33rd week, which means we have just over six weeks until our due date. Time is flying! My job has been crazy, but now that one-week of training 75 staff is completed and school has started, my work is hopefully going to slow down.

We started our 6-week childbirth class last week. It definitely makes it feel a bit more real.

After a lot of debating over the last few months, we've decided to move 35 minutes to Reedley, where my job is, and where one of my Michael's offices is. He can work mostly from there, so it ends up being a much better commute for both of us. Reedley is a small, cute town, but it's 35 minutes from Fresno, and we hesitate to move and feel like we're "starting all over" again. We know it's not really starting over, as we will still get to see a lot of our Fresno friends, it will just take a bit more effort. Regardless, we feel at peace about the decision.

For the first time in our marriage we've had to make a decision that affects us as a family, and not just the two of us as a couple. Moving to Reedley means a lot less money on gas, but more importantly, a lot less time in the car with a brand new baby. It means we can save money, and our work time can be a bit more flexible. This also means we won't need nearly as much childcare, if any. We're hoping to make it work so one of us is always home with the baby. That's really the end goal here.

We put in our 30 day notice at our apartment complex, so at this point we have about 3 weeks to find a place in Reedley, pack, and move! We know it's a little crazy with how close we are to our due date, but we're trusting it will all work out. I'm excited to find a rental house and get the baby's room all set up. The nesting instinct has kicked in and I don't have an outlet for it right now!

Belly Update

2010-07-17T20:56:00.001-07:00

If I'm not going to write much, at least I can post some pictures. Time is flying and I am officially into my third trimester, at 27 1/2 weeks. We are less than three months away from meeting our little girl! We are excited, but also realize there's still a lot to do. We finally went and registered at Babies R Us and Target, which at least helped us to begin thinking about what we need for the baby. We also signed up for Childbirth Education Classes, which start at the end of August.

In the meantime, we've been trying to continue enjoying our time together while it's just the two of us. We're very excited for this change in our lives, but I think also have those moments of feeling unprepared, uncertain, and even afraid of the birthing process!

If you're not on Facebook and want to see my photo album of my belly up to now, click here.

Here are a few of the highlights:

Me at 18 weeks

Me at 25 weeks:

Me at 27 weeks

Ultrasound Pictures

2010-06-03T22:58:00.001-07:00

Here are a few of the pictures from yesterday's ultrasound.

Girl parts! You can see her legs and butt cheeks. The arrow points to the place that proves it really is a girl. :)

This one was taken while she was kicking and moving and stretching all over the place. She kept stretching her spine and kicking the walls.

This one is her profile with her arm. She kept trying to put her hand in her mouth, or at least so it seemed. She yawned here and also hiccuped. It was so fun to watch!

Baby News

2010-06-02T21:53:00.001-07:00

I thought I was going to do a better job of keeping up on this, but I haven't.

Highlights recently:

-I felt nauseous until about 16 weeks. Then I had about a two week break, before it came back a bit. These days, I feel a lot better, with a subtle amount of nausea at certain times of the day or night, but overall, MUCH better than before. Of course, I did throw up this morning.

-At 16 weeks and 1 day I felt the first "bubbles," which is one of the many descriptions I had read of that first feeling of the baby moving. I was surprised to feel it so soon because I had read that you normally feel it between 16 and 20 weeks, but usually at least at 18. It started subtle, and slowly got more obvious.

-This last weekend I felt the first kick that was definitely more than just the "bubbles." I finally could feel the kicking from the outside and not just inside. Michael has been able to feel a few kicks so far, although usually by the time I feel the kicking and call him into the room the baby stops. :)

-We switched doctor offices and have now had two appointments at the new place. I'm MUCH happier with the new office. It wasn't that the last one was horrible, but this one is so much more friendly and helpful. It's a group, so there are two doctors and two nurse practitioners. It was recommended to me by a number of different friends from church and work, and I'm very glad I switched.

-As of yesterday, I've gained 21 pounds in 21 weeks!!! Yikes! I've been a bit paranoid about that, but for the most part my doctor(s) haven't seemed too concerned. I'm realizing I need to be more active in the evenings when I come home and not eat dinner and sit on the couch all night. I really haven't felt like I've been eating a ton, or using my pregnancy to eat like crazy, so, I blame it on a few things: When I got pregnant, I was in the best shape I've been in in years (I hadn't seen that low of a number on the scale since my freshmen year of college...I had been working out a lot); I got pregnant the same month I started my new, full-time job which has left me extra exhausted; I also got pregnant in the same month that I started eating desserts again after a year-long fast. So, I'm trying to keep active and be aware of my eating. Below is a picture of me today, followed by a picture of me at 5 or 6 weeks, to show the contrast.

-And the most exciting update: We had our ultrasound yesterday! We were able to take a DVD and have most of the ultrasound recorded, so we have our own copy of our baby moving, kicking, swallowing, and even yawning! It was incredible!! And of course, we wanted to find out the gender...I wanted to wait to post this until I had the pictures and video uploaded, but in the meantime, I won't keep you in suspense.

It's a Girl! MANY people guessed boy, including most of our family, but alas, a Chapman girl is on her way, and we couldn't be more excited! For the last few years we have always thought we'd really want a boy first, but over the past few months we've imagined the idea of a girl, to the point that we could think of plenty of girl names, and no boy names! And, every time I picture Michael holding a baby, I've been picturing a girl. So for us, this fits. It just feels "right." We are SUPER excited and can't wait to meet our baby girl! I'll try to post pictures of the ultrasound soon. They are much more exciting than the 8 week picture of a "blob." :)

"Is this your first?"

2010-03-31T18:34:00.000-07:00

I have been asked this question a lot recently, as people find out we're pregnant. I never really know how to answer.

Yes, this will be the first child I give birth to.

Yes, this is the first time I've made it through the first trimester.

No, this is not my first pregnancy, but hopefully it will be the first to go full-term.

Usually I just say "yes," but I've always been pretty open about our previous loss, so depending on the person and the mood and situation, I sometimes go into a little more detail. I never want to make anyone uncomfortable for asking, but, it's always a bit weird for me to just flat out say "yes, this is my first."

I just don't know...is it too much to go into detail? Or, do I simply say "yes" and bite my tongue?

First Trimester!

2010-03-28T20:51:00.000-07:00

It's true, we are pregnant!

It's been a long road. After a miscarriage two years ago, "trying," having to put "trying" on hold due to traveling, school, unemployment, etc., and most recently, 12 more months of "trying"...

We finally took a pregnancy test that was positive!

We are so thankful and trust God's Perfect timing in this. We have a lot to figure out over the next 6 months, but again, we trust God's timing.

Some Highlights Up To Now:

-We took the pregnancy test when I was at about 4 1/2 weeks. We were both very surprised, (after a year of wanting a positive test you start to not let your hopes get too high) but it also helped explain why I had been falling asleep on the couch every night at 8:00 that week (I blamed it on starting a new job)! We decided to go out that night and celebrate, just the two of us. We bought a little baby outfit and just spent the next couple of weeks enjoying this little secret between the two of us.

-We slowly started telling family and a few friends, and I eventually told my work (hard not to as I was fighting quite a bit of nausea).

-We had an ultrasound (picture above) at 8 weeks, and were able to see the heartbeat. This was the first emotional hurdle for me, as we never saw an ultrasound in our first pregnancy. I was definitely emotional as we drove away after the ultrasound...so thankful to see a heartbeat and a healthy baby. I had definitely been "holding my breath" until I saw that heartbeat!

-The second emotional hurdle for me was waking up the day after 10 1/2 weeks, when we had miscarried before. I looked at the calendar and was so thankful to have made it through that day.

-The first few weeks after we took the test, I experienced quite a bit of heartburn, but luckily that faded, as the nausea hasn't yet. I feel "morning sickness" all day, but it's actually the worst for me at night. I finally changed toothpaste because anything peppermint was making me sick, and with brushing my teeth and my gagging, it was a terrible combination! We've been reminding ourselves all along that if I'm feeling sick, that's a good sign. It's been hard not to compare this pregnancy with my first, and I've definitely felt MUCH more nausea, heartburn, fatigue, and overall symptoms this time around.

-We are due October 13, and we couldn't be more excited! We feel so blessed and are so thankful. Not a day goes by that we don't thank God for this blessing. It's hard not to get overwhelmed with all that could happen in the future, but I guess that's what being a parent is about: for the rest of our lives we'll be worried about something to do with our child, and in turn, trusting the Lord in it all!

Bye-Bye Outrageous Interest Rates!

2010-03-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

Today marks a significant day for us.

We paid off our credit card!!!!

For the past few years we have tried, on and off, to use Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University philosophy of using cash and not credit cards to get out of debt.

It's been tough to do when we've both been in graduate school, and then long bouts of unemployment and uncertainty, raising support for Rwanda, and moving A LOT.

But, in January I started a job full-time and we vowed to keep our budget as tight as it had been before, so any extra income could go straight to our credit card. In less than 4 months we paid off over $8800 in credit card debt! We are so thankful! Our only debt we have left, since we don't own a house, is our multiple school loans. These loans make our credit card debt look like chump change, but we are focused and ready. It will take a lot longer than a few months, but for us, the stress of school loans is much less in comparison to the outrageous "minimum payments" and interest added to having a credit card.

Regardless of what the future holds, we can move forward with a lot less guilt and stress knowing we are becoming more financially responsible and stable.

Happy 5 Year Anniversary!

2009-12-29T16:06:00.000-08:00

For the last couple years we've done a little self-photo shoot on our anniversary, so here are a few shots from this year.

Can I get that without meat, Please?

2009-10-04T16:41:00.000-07:00

There are many, complex reasons that Michael and I have chosen to give up meat, at least for now. A few reasons include economics, sustainability, and health. This article is yet another reason why we have chosen to stay away from meat, especially ground beef.

Warning: Details in this article of how ground beef is produced may be disturbing to your meat-eating psyche.

Summer Pictures

2009-09-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

I've been terrible about keeping up to date on this blog, but I wanted to post some pictures from the past few months.

In early August we went to a Cubs vs. Rockies game with our friends, the Bunces. We met the Bunces when we were living on the Oregon coast, but have stayed in touch over the years. They recently moved to Kansas, so they drove to CO for the weekend so we could attend the game. Being huge Cubs fans, they (meaning Josh) brought us Cubs shirts to wear. The funny Tom Sawyer hat was the free gift they passed out to all ticket holders.

Then of course there were a lot of pictures taken while we were living with Tim and Amy, mostly pictures of our niece Isabelle. Here's a montage of a few pictures with Isabelle this summer, and by a few I mean a lot.

Painting a frame for Buela (Grandma Bev). She has the Chapman/Ankeny-tongue-out-while-concentrating.

Photo Booth with "Butta" (Aunt Melissa)

Office Time

2009-09-03T15:30:00.000-07:00

I interviewed last week for a job working at Mennonite Brethren Biblical Seminary as the Administrative Assistant to the President and Director of Advancement. The interview went well, and they actually called me back later that day to begin reference and background checks, so I was feeling pretty hopeful about it.

Today I was offered the position, and I am going in tomorrow to begin orientation. There are some important meetings next week that the president would like me at, so that's why I'm starting so quickly.

The position is part-time. It used to be a full-time position, but due to cutbacks it's been reduced. At first I was feeling hesitant about only working part-time, but I've grown to like the idea. I've been surprised at how much I've been enjoying running errands, having the afternoons at home to relax, work-out, and get dinner ready. I think this will work well for now.

I'm looking forward to the job. There's been no one in this position for the past year. Actually, the old president resigned a year ago, and this new president has been interim until now, so there are some changes going on in the office. I will be working in a beautiful old house on the second floor, and I have a nice big office to myself, connected to the President's office. I'm excited to use my administrative skills to be organized and to help keep track of schedules and all the other tasks they will be throwing at me rather quickly. It sounds like there's been a need for someone to be back in this position, and I'm excited to work hard and do my best. I'm also thankful for this job, because there really aren't a lot of jobs out there right now, and the location and position I'll be in is perfect for where we are living. I've been slightly bummed out lately as I read all of my teacher friends' Facebook updates about starting school again and setting up their classrooms for their students, so I'm happy to have a job to focus on again. I'd love to be teaching, but I know this is where the Lord has us right now, and I'm ready for it.

The Armpit of California

2009-09-02T16:32:00.000-07:00

There's a lot I could write about. We've been in Fresno for almost two weeks now. A few things about Fresno that I'm excited about:

-Today I made $1.81 taking my boxes and other recyclable materials to one of the local recycling plants. I'm happy to have discovered that Fresno is a very recycle-friendly town. There are places everywhere that recycle everything from the usual bottles and newspaper to metal, wood, and just about anything you can think of.

-Farmer's Markets and fresh fruits and vegetables. Today I learned that if we tried a bit, we could basically buy all of our food (except coffee) from within 200 miles or so, meaning it's very easy to buy locally. We are right in the middle of a beautiful fruit region, especially oranges and peaches, as well as a variety of other items such as raisins, nuts, and rice.

-It's warm here. It's been about 100 degrees every day since we've been here. Granted, that's very hot, but it also means the sun is out a lot, which makes me happy. Plus, we have a pool right outside our apartment unit.

-This town is bike friendly. Michael has been riding his bike to work, and there seem to be decent bike lanes and bike trails.

-Almost every gas station in town offers cheaper gas if you pay cash. This is one more incentive for us to continue our Dave Ramsey-style budget and finances by living on our budgeted cash each month.

-Fresno has been called the "armpit of California," and partly this is because of how close we are to so many things (but also because an armpit usually stinks, and a lot of people could write a list of reasons they don't like Fresno.) We are within an hour or two of the mountains and Yosemite National Park. We are only a couple hours to the beach. We are less than four hours to Disneyland.

-We are in a very multi-cultural area. There are a lot of Africans, Mexicans and other Hispanics, as well as people from a lot of other countries. This means on a daily basis we get to interact with people from all over the world. It also means there is a variety of ethnic restaurants to choose from. We've already eaten at an Ethiopian restaurant and a Lebanese restaurant. We can see how the Lord has used our time in Africa to prepare us for being here. Now that we've been to Africa we can better understand African culture and thus African ways of thinking and working, which helps us empathize and have patience that we might not otherwise have or understand.

-We are happy to have found a decent apartment and a place to call home. We've met some great people already, and have a lot of peace about being here. We are still getting used to the heat, and to the layout of the city, but Fresno is already beginning to feel like home.

Fresno Here We Come

2009-08-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

We're packed up. Michael is getting the U-haul as I write this. We have mixed feelings about going. We are so very excited about starting this next phase in our lives. I can't begin to explain what a relief it is to go from not only being unemployed, but working random jobs over the past few years, to having a job with benefits and a salary and a sense of permanence. We are excited to begin looking for an apartment or house to rent. We feel lucky that the cost of living in Fresno is not terrible (especially after living near Philadelphia). Michael is excited to start his new job, officially two weeks from today. We are ready to settle down somewhere and be able to find a church home, and to just know we are staying in one place for a little while.

We are feeling sad about leaving Colorado, especially because we've had a great time living with Tim and Amy, and our niece Isabelle. Isabelle knows us and we just have so much fun with her, as she is daily learning new words and fun mannerisms. At least we have Skype, but we will miss her/them.

So, we will be heading out early tomorrow morning. We're planning on stopping somewhere in Utah the first night, and then finishing the trip on Thursday. Google maps says its about 17 1/2 hours, but since we're pulling a U-haul trailer it will take quite a bit longer. We had to replace our tires on our car today, so hopefully that will be the only glitch in our travels.

Moving! Again!

2009-08-16T13:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while since we've written on our blog.

To be honest, there hasn't been a lot to write about. We've been living in Colorado Springs and looking for employment. We have had a lot of fun living with Michael's sister and husband, and our niece Isabelle. But, from the job hunt end of things, it's been mostly discouraging and frustrating.

I applied to almost thirty jobs in town. I interviewed for a few. I was offered a job as a building substitute in an elementary school, but felt I should turn that down. Last week I was called back for a second interview for a middle school social studies job in town, and was offered the job. I was very excited, but I got the call from the principal at the same time Michael was on the phone doing an interview with MCC (Mennonite Central Committee).

Sometime at the end of June Michael got a call from MCC about a possible job opening at their west coast branch in Fresno. Michael had applied for a job with MCC in Washington D.C. last spring, but we decided it wasn't going to work for us financially and otherwise. Somehow this branch got Michael's resume and information and wanted him to apply for an opening with them. We hesitated at first, partly because we had just moved to Colorado and partly because we had a lot of other job applications out, and partly because we weren't sure if this would be too similar to the situation in D.C. Well, it turned out it wasn't, and Michael applied.

So, a week ago when Michael was on his phone interview, I wrote "I got the job!" on a sticky note and put it in front of him while he was answering a question. I was excited, but also knew that this job in Fresno was a good possibility. We basically had to get some kind of assurance from MCC that Michael was a top candidate and/or going to get the job before I felt alright with turning down a job offer, but I knew I needed to let the principal know quickly. We talked it through and felt at peace about me turning down a job offer here.

Today, Michael got the official word that he got the job!

So, we'll be moving rather quickly; he will be starting on September 1st. I have a phone interview tomorrow morning for an office job in the Admissions office at Fresno Pacific University. Michael's offices will be on that same campus, so we are really hoping and praying I get this job, because it would mean only needing one car and being able to commute to work together. I've decided not to try to pursue a teaching job in California. I already have three teaching licenses (PA, CO, and OR), and don't really feel like trying to get #4 quite yet.

We feel so blessed that the Lord has so clearly guided us up to this point, with Michael getting a job that he didn't even initially apply for, and all the doors here closing. We're really looking forward to settling down somewhere for a little while. This is the first time since we've been married that there is no end date in sight.

Free T-Shirts in 45 kilometers

2009-06-23T21:09:00.000-07:00

Tonight we decided to go for our second Coloradan Adventure.

We drove downtown, hopped out of the car, and started running (we were a little late so we missed the official starting point).

The event is put on by Jack Quinn's Running Club, which is an Irish pub and restaurant that hosts a 5K every week of the year. I don't know how many people ran tonight, but last week there were 933 runners. The starting and ending point of the loop is the restaurant. After the run, everyone goes upstairs for free appetizers (spaghetti, salad, garlic bread) and a lot of people drink a cheap pint of beer. (Personally, I don't like beer, but if I did, I can't imagine downing a pint right after a 5K run.) We waited too long to grab food and it was mostly gone, so we went next door to Chipotle, one of our favorite Mexican restaurants.

Our new goal is to run the loop nine more times so we get a free Jack Quinn's t-shirt. So, we may try to run this on Tuesday nights and the Manitou Incline on Thursday mornings. I was pretty happy with my time, but I definitely felt the altitude more than I did last Thursday hiking the Incline.

We're doing our best to adapt to the Coloradan lifestyle. :)

Our First Coloradan Adventure

2009-06-18T11:26:00.000-07:00

View from the Parking Lot.

This morning Michael and I hiked the Manitou Incline with Tim, our brother-in-law.

We didn't really know what we were getting into, except that a hiker died on Sunday from a heart attack as he climbed.

It was tough, but rewarding at the top. What a view! And we were both really pleased with our times. Michael did the climb in less than 39 minutes, and I finished in less than 48. The incline is one mile with a very steep grade (just look at the pictures), and the trail itself was an old cog railway, so there were some steep steps. The trail back down is another four (just a regular path). We're thinking we may join Tim and his co-workers every Thursday morning.

Fired up and ready to go at the bottom.

It's a loooooooong way up there. Plus, the "top" you see here is a false summit. You get to that point and still have another quarter of the trail to hike. Fortunately, Tim warned us or we would have been pretty surprised.

Only a few more steps...

The Summit! We did it!

And now for the decline.

Hiking back down.

If you don't feel like this at the end, you're crazy. Sort of like the people who reached the summit, ran to the bottom, and hiked the Incline a second time. Or, the guy who got to the top and lit up a cigarette.

So, if anyone comes to visit us we know where to take you! We felt initiated into the intense outdoor life of Coloradans.

We're in Colorado

2009-06-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

I can't say an exact number, but there have been plenty of times over the past two months when I've thought of a blog post, or thought of an update that I've wanted to write on our blog. It just never happened.

I could try to catch up over the past two months, but I think it would be almost impossible.

Highlights?

Returned from Africa.
Lived with our pastor's family for two weeks.
Moved into our own apartment.
I worked as a substitute.
Michael volunteered at an organization in downtown Portland.
Michael found a lot of odd jobs and applied for jobs all over the country.
None of the said jobs worked out, and we reevaluated our current living situation.
We decided to move to Colorado Springs and live with Michael's sister.
We went to Costa Rica for a week.
After Costa Rica, we decided to push up moving a couple weeks to get here for potential job interviews. We packed up and headed out a week later.

After two days of driving, we made it on Monday night.
We're mostly unpacked and settled in, and praying for jobs.

I guess it wasn't impossible to summarize the last two months. More to come.

Home Sweet Home

2009-04-17T12:30:00.001-07:00

We're home!

We had a great time relaxing and transitioning back to western culture with our friends in Germany over the weekend.

We arrived at PDX Monday with all of our luggage, a definite praise, and are settling back into life here in Newberg.

Our plan for the next couple of months is to find an apartment, which we think we've found (also a huge praise because it is month-to-month and we don't have to sign a lease), while I work and Michael continues to work on job applications.

Fortunately, I am still in the substitute systems here and already worked my first sub job yesterday (despite some jet lag still lagging...) We are hoping I will be able to work a lot throughout the rest of the school year, so hopefully a lot of teachers will be using their sick days and personal days.

Michael has applied to development-type jobs all over the country, and we are waiting to see where the Lord will lead us next. The first thing we heard on the radio when we got into our car on Monday was about how Oregon's unemployment rate is up to 12%, the highest in years, and one of the highest in the entire country. It was a great "welcome back to Oregon" moment for us. Our prayer for now is that something will open up that will be a good use of Michael's skills, knowledge, and degrees.

In the meantime, we are thankful to be back to our home church, where we've already felt so welcomed and taken care of (including a place to stay while we find an apartment). We are continuing to process our time in Rwanda and all the ways the Lord has spoke to us, stretched us, and challenged us, and will continue to share some of those thoughts as they come.

Hitching in Kigali

2009-03-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

This weekend our Burundian friends came to visit. We had a great weekend showing them around.

On Saturday we were walking down to the taxi park to grab a mutatu (bus) into town. Buses cost around 30 cents, so it's our transportation of choice. We weren't quite to the station and a guy pulled up to an intersection and offered us a ride asking, "Where are you going?" My immediate response was, "No thanks, we don't need a taxi." He told us he wasn't a taxi and was just offering us a ride into town. If we had been going to town we would have probably declined still, but we had decided to venture off the beaten path to a part of town (up a huge hill) where buses don't go. The four of us hopped in and met Arthur, a Rwandan man who was living in Dallas, Texas since the genocide, but returned 6 months ago. We found out that he manages the Union Trade Center (the most high end retail building in Rwanda)... so he's clearly doing well. He was happy to take us up the crazy hill and drop us where we needed to go. We got out of the car amazed that we had just experienced our first free ride from a stranger.

Fast-forward 8 hours past all of the shopping, bartering, walking, coffeeing, and taxiing we did, to the other side of the city and the nicest Italian restaurant in town. As we finished up dinner we made our way to the very busy street (that Parliament, all embassies, and various government ministries occupy) to flag down a cab home. We waited and waved our hands, but only motorcycles were stopping (no thanks). Finally a car pulled a u-turn around the median and pulled over. "Can I help you?" the man said through the window. "Are you a taxi?" I asked. "No I'm not a taxi, I'm just offering to help you."

What? Twice in one day?!?! This is crazy.

We weren't going to turn this one down since there was no prospect of catching a cab. We shook Antoine's hand and told him where we were going. After a brief stop at the pharmacy for some aspirin, Antoine informed us that he works for the UN in the area of water resource management. I basically flipped out in the passenger's seat since the busines I'm working with is struggling to solve its water issues. I asked if he does anything with irrigation. He told me he specializes in irrigation and swamps (again, exactly what the business is dealing with). He was happy to give me his number and offered to give any advice that would be helpful. Then he informed us that on the side of his UN work, he has written computer software to help businesses calculate VAT (sales tax)........ yet another issue we're in the middle of solving.

I told him I think God wanted him to pick us up. That's when he flipped out. "You Christian? I am Christian. I'm saved," he informed us.

Twice in one day, no thumbs were ever pointed into the street.

Culturisms #8, 9, and 10

2009-03-25T05:37:00.000-07:00

Culturism #8-Modesty

In Rwanda, it is immodest for a woman to show her knees. It's no problem, however, to nurse your child in public, during meetings or during a church service (without any covering). Children are fed this way for as long as possible, and it's common, especially as you get out into the countryside, to see kids who are walking around still nursing. They just walk up to their mom, lift up her shirt, and start in on their meal. I know this because I've seen it myself.

Culturism #9-Rain

When it rains here in Kigali, it is a great excuse to stay put. Yesterday, I had only two students show up to class because it was raining, and these two work at the school. I asked one student why Rwandans are afraid of the rain, and he said that when he was in primary (elementary) school, he remembers his teacher telling the students to never go out in the rain. He thinks it could be to keep clothes nice (See blog post with Culturism #6-Clothes). All I know is that I have to have an alternate lesson plan on rainy days because I know I will have many absent students.

Culturism #10- Dogs

Many, many Rwandans are afraid of dogs. As a result, dogs make great guards. Within our small compound there are four dogs. The Thomases have two dogs, and the school has two. Rwandans who need to speak to the Thomases will often stand outside the gate/fence because they are afraid of the dogs barking. Once, when our internet was down, a man came to fix it. He came into the house, and we left the door open. The man just stared out the door at the dogs and wouldn't move until we closed the door. Another time, a friend needed to speak to the Thomases, and I told him to go over to their house because I thought they'd be home. He said, "But, they have dogs!" I tried to assure him that the dogs wouldn't harm him, but he wasn't convinced.

Simplicity: Food

2009-03-22T04:56:00.000-07:00

The idea of living a life of intentional simplicity has been on my mind lately. I don't have it anywhere close to figured out (and I'm sure I won't ever have it all figured out), but I have been thinking about how Michael and I can live more simply. It begins with the following, in regards to food:

For the first time Michael and I have chosen real New Year's Resolutions. The purposes behind them are many.

The first Resolution is to not eat meat. While in in Philadelphia last year we began to toy with the idea of becoming vegetarian. Now, I could go into the multiple reasons and thoughts behind this with all the statistics to back it up, but I won't. I will give an overly simplistic reason, and that's that a lot of resources go into feeding cattle, specifically and especially in the United States beef industry, and these resources could spread a lot further to feed a lot more people if they weren't used on cattle. As we began looking at this idea, I also began to read about the meat industry in general, and the slaughterhouses, chicken farms, and even pig farms, and I was, frankly, disgusted. Again, I'll spare you meat-lovers the details (for now), but I am just not convinced that eating meat from these places is being a good steward of resources, let alone the issue of treating not only animals humane (which is a big argument for many vegetarians, but truthfully is not something I'm as convicted about), but the people who are working for minimum wages in absolutely horrific conditions in places like American slaughterhouses.

Because of the way meat is raised here in Rwanda, and the low levels of meat that are used, we have chosen to eat meat when it is presented to us and not be legalistic about this personal choice. We do plan to stick to this no-meat regimen when we return to the States.

Our second Resolution is to not eat desserts...all year. Yes, we are crazy. Actually, there are specific reasons behind this choice as well. I am a sweet tooth. A HUGE sweet tooth. And, I have realized that when it comes to most foods, but especially sweets/desserts, I have virtually no self-control. I just can't stop eating them and daily, sometimes hourly, crave sweets. In the past few years I've attempted to give up sugar and/or sweets at various times, but have always failed. I usually give up after a few days, deciding it's not necessary or that I can just try to limit my consumption, or that I can't do it when my husband is eating Tillamook ice cream in front of me while I'm watching and drooling and trying to abstain. This inability to give up sweets began to convict me that maybe I really do have an issue with self-control, almost as a spiritual issue. I began to see it as more like a fast, where I give it up to practice a spiritual discipline. So, this time, Michael has agreed to join me on this quest for self-control. We have made it almost three months without eating a single dessert, though the opportunity has presented itself to us many times. Of course, the health aspect is an added bonus, but not the main purpose for this fast.

So, as we have been processing what it's been like to not eat meat or sweets, I have also started to be convinced that there are many issues revolving around the types of food we eat and how to be better stewards of food. I recently came across a cookbook put out by the Mennonites, called "Less is More." It has many articles about the over-consumption of food, especially processed food and sugar, and how it is really poor stewardship to be hooked on convenient packaging and quick "easy" meals that cost a fortune compared to buying in bulk, planning, and preparing meals that are healthy and don't require a lot of ingredients. I even thought recently that something as simple as not taking seconds or eating appropriate portions of food is not only healthier, but better stewardship of food resources as well as money (having enough leftovers for another entire meal saves money, food, and time).

I'm still working out some of these issues, but I'm thinking about them. And, I am looking forward to buying this cookbook when I get home. If you're interested in any of this, I definitely recommend this cookbook. Besides recipes, 1/3 of the 1976 cookbook is devoted to explaining these issues and the Christian responsibilities of eating simply. As the website says, the book was, "written to challenge North Americans to consume less so others could eat enough."

Goma Pictures

2009-03-20T14:25:00.000-07:00

I finally posted a few pictures from our trip to Goma, DRC for the wedding we went to. Click here.

We're still here

2009-03-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling slightly guilty about not writing on our blog in a while. There have been a lot of things that I've thought to write about, but then we don't have internet for a few days, or Michael has to use the computer for work, or I have to plan lessons, and it just hasn't happened as intended.

So, I will have to settle for a general update for now.

We leave Rwanda three weeks from yesterday. The time is drawing near quickly, and we are experiencing a whole range of emotions:

Anxious. We are anxious because as of now, we have absolutely no idea what we will be doing when we return to Oregon. We have no housing lined up, and we're unsure of where to settle. I can immediately return to subbing in the Newberg/Sherwood area, so that's the one piece we sort of have figured out.

We are also trying to discern longer-term plans, jobs, where to live, etc., and at this point have no real news to share. We'd love to share with you our processing individually if you are interested.

Sad. At times teaching English has been tough, especially with little materials to use. Thus, at times I've been looking forward to being finished with teaching. But, this week I've realized that I will really miss my students and my daily interactions with them for the past two and a half months. I'm TERRIBLE at saying good-bye and I always cry. It will be sad to leave a place that has become comfortable in its own way. Saying good-bye here also means facing the unknowns of the future.

Busy. Because our time here is ending, we have loose ends to tie up. I have been working on gathering what lessons I have taught to pass on to the new teacher who will be replacing me. A woman from Kenya will be taking over my class, and I'm still working to convince my students that they can learn English from an African, as they are hesitant to believe they can learn English from someone other than a white person. Next week is my last week of teaching both at the missionary school and English.

Torn. We are trying our best to stay present to where we are now, that is, here in Rwanda. Though there are a lot of details to work out for a few weeks from now, we don't want to ignore the next few weeks of work and ways God will continue to speak to us here.

Looking forward to rest. After our final week of school this coming week, our friends from Burundi, Jim and Karri, will be visiting us for a couple days. Then, we will leave for Kumbya for the week. We are excited to have a week to slow down, rest, process, and reflect on our time here in Rwanda and how we feel the Lord is speaking to us. After Kumbya we will have a few days to pack and prepare to leave. It also happens that the week we are leaving is the Genocide Memorial week, so it will be interesting to be here for that. (From what we've heard, this means no celebrations of any kind can happen, and many speeches and rallies take place at the National Genocide Memorial here in Kigali).

We leave Rwanda on April 9, and will spend a few days in Germany visiting friends from college, Stephanie and Luke. We arrive back in Portland on Monday, April 13.

Blessed. The other day I was reflecting on all the support we have. We have been overwhelmed at times by the love and support, the prayers, and of course the financial blessings that have allowed us to spend this time in Rwanda. We have over 90 individuals or couples who have invested in us financially, and many more who've invested time to pray for us and our time here. We are so thankful for each of you and your involvement in this life-changing experience.

I've been thinking a lot about some of the lessons I know we've learned since being here, but I will have to save those for other posts. We realize that we will continue to discover ways that the Lord has used this time to teach us for a long time to come. At least, this has been our past experience.

Our prayer for the next 20 days is that the Lord would give us clarity regarding our future, and that we would continue to trust Him and be open to what He wants to teach us while we're still here.

Burundi

2009-03-13T00:28:00.000-07:00

We got back on Monday from long weekend visiting our friends Jim and Karri in Bujumbura, Burundi.

It was a 7 hour bus ride from Kigali to Buja, but the bus was pretty nice. I mean, it was titled Belvedere Bus Lines, you can't get much classier than that.

We had no troubles at the border, and since we had made friends with a group of people on the bus, we know that if we had had problems, they would have had our back. This group was hilarious. At one rest stop everyone piled off the bus to get roasted maize (corn cobs) and goat shish-kabobs, at 8:00 in the morning! When they got back on the bus the leader of the group walked up to Melissa, snapped off half of his roasted maize, and handed it to her. They clearly wanted to take care of the white folk.

Bujumbura is located on the shore of a huge lake. When approaching the city you are driving in the windy hills, and then suddenly everything flattens out and you see the city on the edge of the lake. It is the flattest piece of land I've seen in East Africa.

We arrived at the station to find Karri waiting for us. Karri was in my cohort at Eastern, and since there was only 11 of us in the cohort, we got to know each other real well. It was really good to see her. We walked to their local coffee shop to meet up with Jim, and then on to their offices. It was great to see what life has looked like for them for the last 6 months. Karri and her husband, Jim, both work for World Relief. Karri works in their microfinance bank, Turame. And Jim works with them doing various ministry-related jobs, teaching music, preaching, working with youth, etc.

We caught a cab to their house, freshened up, and then headed out to Khana Kazanas, an unbelievable Indian restaurant that just relocated to Buja from Kigali. I ordered some sort of green goo (on the owners recommendation) and it was to die for.

Saturday we went to the beach and played volleyball ALL AFTERNOON... it was glorious. There were about 30 expatriates that had gathered to play a tournament. These people were from the U.S., France, Austria, England, Spain, Australia and plenty of other places. It was shocking to be around so many white people in one place. I suffered a bit of reverse culture shock (Why aren't there any Africans around like I am used to? Why is so much English being spoken?) but then settled in as the tournament began. The team Jim and I were on came in third, just beating out Melissa's team. We had a blast.

That night we ate at a very cool new restaurant on the beach overlooking the water. A thunderstorm rolled in over the lake and we got to just sit and experience the storm while we waited for our food. It was a great night.

Sunday we went to church with Jim and Karri and we got to hear Jim preach. He gave a great and challenging sermon and Melissa and I really appreciated worshiping there with that group.

After church we went out for some amazing pizza (something we really miss) and then crammed 9 people into a Toyota Camry (plus a guitar) to get home. We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening talking and catching up with Jim and Karri. It was so great to just chat late into the night.

We grabbed some tea and croissants early the next morning and hopped back onto the trusty Belvedere for our trek home. Besides the 30 minute delay due to a roadblock (caused by a car that was lodged under a semi), we had a smooth and uneventful ride home. And stopped again at the same place for maize and goat kabobs... this time we expected it and bought some Fanta.

We had a great time with some great friends, and fortunately they are coming in a couple of weekends to visit Kigali.