March is Marching on by

I was doing well blogging in January and February. And then March came along.

I was so busy this week I didn't realize I wasn't part of my weekly FitBit Challenge group until someone emailed me on Thursday and asked me where I had been all week. I just didn't even have time to click one simple button to join the group. It's been that kind of week. On the flip side, I've gotten a whole bunch of steps for not doing any intentional exercising, even more than most days when I go for a run. Also, I'm on antibiotics again for yet another sinus infection.

Sick day at home on Sunday. 

To make this post more cheery, here are some fun photos of my cute kids from this week.

I love these sister moments.

Ellie was the "Niña de la Semana," so on Thursday we got to bring her favorite snack to school to share with her classmates. Pancakes with peanut butter and syrup was this year's choice. Ellie loved every second of it.

Hung up in her classroom this week.

Pancakes in her class.

Ellie was insistent that we needed a picture of her whole class, and that all the boys had to stand up behind, and all the girls were below in front. I'm not exactly sure why this is a thing...

Having a cute baby sister is sometimes really fun.

This week we spent a couple days with some members of our team and representatives from our local partners from Guatemala and El Salvador. We partner with a Catholic Diocese, Indigenous Mayan organizations, local Mennonite church conferences, other church denominations, and local NGOs.

We signed MOUs for the next year, and heard from partners about their current projects.

While we had meetings, the girls got their homework done.

Next week is Semana Santa (Holy Week), and we're looking forward to some time off as a family to rest and connect, hopefully without a lot of internet.

Weeks

Life has been, well, full.

There's the busyness. Conferences, hosting people, planning meetings, another conference next week with our partners from all over Guatemala and El Salvador. Meetings over Skype. Meetings in person. Planning and emails and deadlines and finances and the usual work week, but amplified.

One of the most intense parts of our jobs is the responsibility we carry over our staff. We currently have 11 staff spread between Guatemala and El Salvador. They are all living in different contexts and facing unique challenges. We are responsible for "worker care," making sure they are being supported physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. It's a huge job, and this week has been extra tough. It's difficult to do these things in a context that is unpredictable, dangerous, and with limited resources. It's like somehow playing a parenting role (some more literally than others) for 11 people from several hours away, while also dealing with 3 girls age 5 and under at home. It's one of the most rewarding parts of the job, but also can be the most challenging.

Cumulatively, I'd venture to say it's been one of the most stressful months we've had here in Guatemala.

We decided we need to rest and have some family time during Holy Week in a couple weeks. We planned a trip and then the plans fell through. I was bummed. Super bummed. I realized I was over-stressed and extra disappointed when this happened and I took it out on my kids, yelling and screaming and super impatient. Don't worry, I made it up to them by buying them ice cream. Mom Guilt at its finest.

Then we realized we have some pending visa issues and we have to travel to either Belize or Mexico to renew a couple of our family visas. Another complication. Fortunately, we figured out new plans, and with a bit of travel we still get to rest for a bit and we will get our visas renewed. I'm counting down the hours.

During such a messy, full, tense month, obviously Ellie would come home from school yesterday with an excited glow. She was chosen to be "niña de la semana" (girl of the week) next week. This is a big deal for her. Like, she's been talking about when this week will happen since last year. Every week the girls come home with reports of whose week it is, what treats they brought to school, etc. This entails us making a large posterboard with pictures of Ellie. It means she gets to share her favorite book with her classmates this week. It means her parents are invited to bring a snack on Thursday (good thing we decided to cut our partner meeting short by a day next week!). It means we need to come up with a sorpresa, usually a fancy version of a birthday party gift bag. Last week one of the girls brought home a brand new water bottle filled with candy and bubbles, for example. Those over-achieving parents sure can ruin it for the rest of us.

Last year's posterboards:

Of course she would be the "niña de la semana" in one of our busiest weeks of the year. Michael and I could only laugh at the timing.

Oh, and then I found another little paper in her backpack that told me that this Tuesday she has a presentation on panthers, in English, Gracias a Dios. This includes another posterboard or visual aid. For her last presentation we just let her draw some pictures on paper to share, and I couldn't help but notice all the fancy books and posters that the other kids rolled into school with. Darn over-achievers.

I started the week off with a couple days of running. I even got a 4-mile run in one night. But by the end of the week I'm so fried I sat on the couch last night and couldn't move. I had the fleeting thought to exercise, but after a day sitting in front of the computer on video calls and answering emails, I was done. I couldn't even make dinner due to the whiny, fussy, sick baby who insisted on being held AT ALL TIMES. Gracias a Dios for Chinese delivery.

I will spend my weekend finding and printing pictures to help Ellie make her posterboard. And learning about panthers. This morning she was singing to herself, "I'm the chica de la semana." She's thrilled, and I want to let her be, and set aside the busy week ahead and let her feel special.

Only here...

Only in this context would a middle-aged man make a comment about how much weight I've lost, immediately followed by the question, "Are you still nursing your baby?" while gesturing and cupping what would be a breast, if he had any.

He was concerned that I wasn't eating enough and or course, as he told me, that is important when you're a nursing mom. I joked that I only eat tortillas and beans as my new diet, which in retrospect wasn't that funny since we have staff who literally only eat that every day. But we all had a good laugh and moved on. It struck me how this conversation wouldn't have happened in the US, at least in any of my circles.

It's interesting to be in a culture that has mixed messages about breastfeeding. On the one hand, it's a common part of daily life, and me deciding to nurse wherever and whenever, in general, doesn't get a second glance. It's seen as a natural and expected way to nourish a child. There's no shame. I see moms nursing their babies all the time (interestingly, most often indigenous women). It's just what it is, food for a baby. If only the US could figure it out. It's so frustrating, the double standard that breastfeeding offends so many people, but women dressed overly sexy is not a problem. What most often looks silly here is trying to cover that feeding process up for the sake of others.

Then there is this other part of the culture that pushes formula and bottles. Our nurses at the hospital where Ruby was born had no clue what to do with me since I refused formula and wanted to exclusively breastfeed. I had to explain to them it was not only OK, but necessary, to wake up the baby every few hours so I could nurse her. I had to fight hard to not let them give her formula and to allow her to be in the room with me in the middle of the night so I could feed her when she needed.

Yes, I've lost weight. Yes, I'm eating well. Yes, I'm still nursing my baby.

Long Week

It's been a loooooong week. It feels like one of the longest we've had in a while.

Some numbers:

55 people from 10 countries gathered here in Guatemala over the course of 5 days to discuss political advocacy and the MCC Connecting Peoples programs.

2 nights where my girls were awake until 10:00pm due to activities, and another late night way past their bedtime.
3 times I went through a drive-though to eat a meal in the car.
3 days I drove back and forth twice a day between home, the girls' school, and the retreat center.
45 minutes to the retreat center, with traffic.
7 people who came to a lunch we hosted were Guatemalan alumni of MCC young adult programs (6 went to US or Canada, one to Bolivia, one will be going to the US in August).

1 talent show with people from 10 countries, including 3 cute Chapman girls singing and playing "5 Little Monkeys."

2 more very busy weeks before a rest during Holy Week.

Countless conversations with other MCCers and workers who share a passion for helping the "least of these."

Still Language Learning

Every once in a while I pull out my DuoLingo app on my phone. It's a great app for learning languages, in the form of a game against yourself. It's great practice for me and when I'm feeling frustrated with my Spanish I spend some time on it. I highly recommend it if you want to explore a new language.

Yesterday I had to laugh when I came across this sentence that I had to translate:

I've shared this story before, but three years ago during our first week in Spanish classes Michael was telling his teacher about the coches en la calle (the cars on the street) that made a lot of noise and kept us awake. His teacher kept laughing and finally explained. Coche, in almost every Spanish-speaking country, means car. But in Guatemala, it means pig. She thought it was funny to imagine all the loud pigs in the street keeping us awake at night. DuoLingo is not set to Guatemalan Spanish, apparently.

A new feature of DuoLingo that is new since I used it last marks my progress with this notice:

That feels about right. 3 years, 23% fluent. I think I'll hold off on publishing that to my LinkedIn profile.

On another Spanish note, Ellie has started learning to read and write and brings home quite a bit of homework every night. Today, part of her assignment said she needed to look up a word, popa, and draw a picture of it. She's been interested in the process of looking up words in our Spanish/English dictionary, so she helped me find the meaning of popa:

My guess is the teacher is going for the second meaning, so that's what she drew:

50+ visitors coming

Speaking of working from home, last night Michael and I spent hours on our living room floor after the girls went to bed, putting together Welcome packets for a conference we are hosting this week.


MCC partners and staff working in advocacy throughout Latin America (including Haiti, Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Colombia, Bolivia, Mexico, and US and Canada) are coming for a conference on Advocacy. Several issues will be covered, including a visit to a local Guatemalan community that lives along a river affected by a hydroelectric dam. This is also combined with a conference among MCC's Connecting Peoples programs (learning tour groups, Young Adult programs). More than 50 people will be coming to share and dialogue together this week.

This means it's been a crazy week or two finalizing details in the office, with everything from printing name tags and schedules in three languages (English, Spanish, Haitian Creole) to dealing with a last minute change of venue. Whew. But tonight and tomorrow everyone arrives, and the weeks and months of planning are put into actual motion.

Looking forward to a good and full week, followed by two more intense weeks which include another 3-night meeting we are hosting. March promises to be a full month.

Working From Home: My Version

You may have seen articles and pictures of moms working from home (or this video), and the realities of juggling messy kids with trying to work, between naps and nursings and somehow trying to be productive. Switching your brain from work mode like writing professional emails and reading reports (in my case, in Spanish at times), to comforting your child who just bonked her head or needs a snack in the matter of seconds is a very difficult task.

I have to be OK with the messes, because at least the messes are making her happy, which means I'm not having to entertain her, which means I can focus on work at my dining room table.

I have to be OK with a lot of breaks and interruptions, from the water guy outside to the baby needing another cracker and/or wanting to sit on my lap.

I have to ignore the piled up dishes from breakfast in the sink, though my sensory-aware self goes a little crazy, and focus on work.

Right now, it feels worth it. These two days a week I'm working from home, I get to spend extra precious minutes with my baby, while working at the same time. The interruptions are not all bad. I get to take breaks where I get to snuggle and kiss and hold my baby. Even so, the time is nearing when it will probably make more sense to put her in daycare. She's still at home three days a week with our house help while I'm at the office, but I think at some point being around other kids in a more stimulating environment will be a better choice (she seems to be a bit extroverted). I's a hard realization for me to accept, as I continue to struggle with the "mom guilt" of daycare versus time at home.

On the other hand, working in the office has been really helpful, and going back to five days a week there will have a lot of advantages. I get adult time, Spanish time, I feel productive and useful, and work feels more smooth.

I'm learning that part of being a parent is realizing that what's best for my children might not be the idyllic scenario in my mind. Working at home has its golden moments, but I'm often more stressed and frustrated than I need to be. It's possible I could be a more present Mom in the afternoons if our mornings looked different. The quality of time I'm spending with her in the morning may be more frustrating for both of us now as she gets older and more active.

Yet another transition is on its way.