On Making Big Life Decisions from 30,000 Feet in the Air

I won't admit how many hours I've spent pouring over real estate websites, hoping and praying the market will suddenly change and become affordable in our area. We've looked at some pretty trashed, tiny places, and even many of them have been outside our budget. Our lease in our apartment ends May 4th, and we have needed a plan for what's next. We've spent hours debating where to live, what type of commute to tolerate, housing prices, and school options. At the end of the day, it always comes down to one major trump card: we are committed to the girls attending a dual-immersion (Spanish) school, and the district we are currently in has plans for dual language curriculum through high school. Most districts have a lottery and end up with a wait-list, but we got lucky and got into the program last Spring while still living in Guatemala, and our other two girls have automatic entrance as siblings into the program. It feels like the most obvious choice, but one that makes housing more difficult.

We've been discouraged by what we've seen, and had just decided that a townhouse might be a great option for us, if the right one popped up.

In the meantime, MCC (the organization we were in Guatemala with), sponsors a "Re-Entry" Retreat, in which people who have worked with MCC throughout the world and have returned back to the US and Canada spend some time together talking about the process of transitioning back to North America. We had been planning for months to attend this, and left last Thursday morning. There were people from all over Latin America, several African countries, Bangladesh and China, and two of our Guatemalan team members were there, too.

So fun to see ex-MCC Guatemalan team members!

Thursday morning, on the way to the airport, I got a notification of a townhouse that went on the market, 76 minutes earlier, to be exact. We were standing by our gate, about to board our flight.

"Michael, look at this gorgeous townhouse." I tossed my phone to him. "The biggest floor plan in the whole community...I think we should look into it. This will go super fast."

The market has been crazy and homes get multiple offers, often over the asking price, within a couple days of going on the market. We weren't going to be home until Sunday night, and I knew that this home in such great condition wouldn't last on the market for long.

I started texting my realtor, using the wi-fi on the airplane to be in touch with her and our lender. My mom was going to drive up and look at it, but then we decided to just trust our realtor with that task. She had seen enough houses with us to know what we were looking for. By mid-morning there were already back-to-back appointments lined up to view the home.

By Thursday night our realtor had seen the place and we were ready to move forward. We stayed up late Thursday night writing a letter to the Sellers to accompany our offer, which we submitted Friday afternoon. We heard on Saturday morning that they wanted one more night to review offer(s) as one of the owners was out of town and there were several showings of the home that had been scheduled before our offer and deadline came in.

10:00 AM on Sunday, we were to hear if they would accept or reject our offer. Talk about a whirlwind!

California Redwoods

In the meantime, we continued to attend sessions at this retreat, discussing and sharing with others who had lived overseas, most for several years. We also spent a couple hours in Santa Cruz, enjoying the chilly yet sunny beach.

We shared our hopes and fears of coming back to North America, of leaving our work and our relationships in the countries where we were assigned. Despite living in unique places and cultures all over the world, it was incredible to hear how similar our hopes and fears were.

There were some emotional parts of the weekend. I found myself more and more nervous to hear about this home. We've been "back home" in Oregon for about 7 months, and living in an apartment has been part of our transition, but it's been temporary. We've been amazingly blessed by how rapidly Michael's role changed at his work. We have "adjusted" in most ways to being back in the US, but this last piece, finding a home and committing for at least a few years has been hanging there, waiting.

Sunday morning, the last morning together, we were focusing on our transition back home, on letting go of painful situations that may have occurred during our service, on looking for hope in our future, on being resilient and never, ever forgetting lessons learned.

We started singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness." At some point, my phone buzzed, and I knew it was the realtor. I was pretty nervous but knew I wasn't going to check my phone until our session was over.

And these lyrics reminded me that God has provided for us in so many ways, and will continue to do that, whether this specific home is the right one for us, or something else:

Great is Thy faithfulness! 
Morning by morning new mercies I see. 
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided,
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Finally, the service ended, and I stepped outside, tears still in my eyes from this sense of peace and realization that God will provide, either way.

"Well," said my realtor to me on the phone. "There was one other offer submitted, but they accepted yours. Congratulations!"

I immediately started balling. The stress of the past several months of looking for housing, plus the emotional weekend of processing everything about leaving Guatemala early, returning to the US, and the relief of finding a home, all came down at once.

I told Michael during the craziness of working up our offer, as we found a coffee shop on Friday afternoon to E-sign our official offer letter from a State away without having seen the actual home (the pictures were super helpful), "We can never do simple." (I was remembering last May, signing our lease via E-sign for our current apartment by using Michael's cell phone as a hot spot, while driving through the Guatemalan hills towards Honduras. We really do these things in the most complicated manner possible, right?)

Obviously, nothing is set in stone until Closing, which won't happen until the end of April, but we are excited, thrilled, relieved, hopeful. God's timing continues to prove perfect, even comical, in our lives. Michael leaves tomorrow morning for three weeks to Africa. And the Chapman Craziness continues.

A New Year, Another Change

This time last year I made a few goals.

I wanted to train for and run a half-marathon. Check.
I wanted to try to blog every day, "unpolished." That happened for maybe half the year, and then my blogging petered out.
Read more books. I'd say I've done that, especially thanks to having access to a public library again.

A year ago I never would have imagined that a year later we'd have returned from Guatemala. That was a huge and unexpected change in 2016. One of the reasons I stopped writing here last year is that I was trying to process our move and all the changes. And I still am.

People continue to ask us about the "transition" back to the US, back to Oregon. "How does it feel to be living back in the US?" "How is the transition going?" "Are you feeling settled?"

The pat answer is usually: It's good. The transition has gone well. We miss things about Guatemala but also feel like coming back was the right decision for us as a family. Those are all true, but a bit too concise, too simple.

The longer answer is that some days we really miss Guatemala. Some days we are sad when we see parts of Guatemala already slipping from the minds of our two oldest girls. The three years and three months we spent living in Guatemala were hard but also life-changing. Crazy and intense, and Ours. We miss the people and the friends and the diversity. So many things we miss.

But honestly, most days, we have felt relief. Relieved of the stress of living in a difficult environment. Relieved of the stress of an intense job that in no way was confined to an 8-5 schedule. Relieved of the stress that the role took on our family and our girls and our marriage.

The most clear benefit of being "home" is our girls.

I am getting a priceless year with Hazel, before she starts kindergarten this Fall. I get to help at her preschool twice a month. I get to see her thrive in an environment where play is the emphasis, not learning cursive as a 4-year old.

I am getting priceless years with Ruby. I get three mornings a week just me and her. We have a special bond and I know the next couple years when her two older sisters will be in school will be priceless, too.

Ellie is in a Spanish kindergarten classroom, not as intense as her classes in Guatemala. She seems to be thriving and our girls being in a Dual Language Program will continue to guide our decisions in the coming years. It's become a priority for us and we are lucky that Oregon has so many schools with this option.

Last May, when Michael accepted the position with Medical Teams International and we made the difficult decision to leave Guatemala, there were a lot of unknowns. We found an apartment and a school with Spanish Immersion. We bought a mini-van and found some furniture. The position itself didn't feel permanent. If I'm being honest, it hasn't been the best use of Michael's skills and experience, but it was our ticket home, and his open door into a new organization (he had been with MCC for about 7 years). So we trusted and hoped that this step home was just that, one step that could hopefully be the gateway into something else.

Our First Snow in Oregon

And this week, that decision we made to trust the process, to trust that the step towards MTI and Oregon was a good one, has been affirmed. On Friday, Michael accepted another position within MTI. It's a position that will better utilize his skills and experience and education. He'll be switching from a support role in the Latin America department to being the Africa and Middle East Program Manager. It's a big switch, in both scope and responsibility, and will involve quite a bit of travel, but we are excited. I can't help but feel like this entire year, the process of trusting in each step, has culminated in this new position.

It's one of those times in our lives where I will always look back and say, yes, I believe that was God guiding us. We trusted in the process. We trusted that coming home was a good decision for our family. We trusted that Michael would eventually find a better fit. We didn't expect it to happen quite so fast, but we are so thankful.

Enjoying a hike at Multnomah Falls to celebrate our 12th anniversary

I'm so proud of Michael and ready to see what 2017 brings to our family.

Getting Settled

We moved into our apartment officially last Saturday.

We feel settled. Decorations are on the wall, boxes are unpacked. We're figuring out what we got rid of 3 1/2 years ago, what we saved, what we need to replace. (We got rid of things that we didn't think would store well: wood spoons and a tea kettle, for example).

Wall decorations from Guatemala, Haiti, and Rwanda

Mostly, we've been enjoying summertime and activities here. All the free activities. (Well, not quite free. Thanks to our tax dollars we have public parks and public libraries and really nice roads to drive on to get there. I'm very aware of how great it is to have access to these.)

We've been to the library multiple times. We joined the Summer Reading Program, tracking our minutes reading. We've borrowed Spanish books and DVDs, books that have motivated Ellie to read. Shout out to public libraries. We signed up and got several coupons: free sandwiches at a local sub shop, free swimming passes and mini-golf passes. Free soccer tickets. Free books. 

Our Summer Reading Logs

We went to a free family music night, sponsored by the library, which the girls loved.

Ruby found a friend, her doppelganger with more hair.

We've been to several beautiful, green parks, with swings and slides and even a sand pit, all within a short drive or walk from our apartment.

We've enjoyed fresh Oregon peaches and blueberries and strawberries.

Blueberry Zucchini Cake with Lemon Buttercream
I made this cake last week. It's fantastic.

I've had two playdate/friend dates and both times each said friend brought me a coffee treat. It's so great to be back to where my friends appreciate the value of coffee on a person/mom's soul.

We're enjoying sunny evenings (it stays light so much later here!) and time together as a family.

Happy Summer Days to you!

Walk Down This Mountain

This morning the girls decided they missed Daddy. So we packed a picnic lunch and headed an hour North. I got to show the girls our new apartment for the first time, which they loved getting into their playroom...a work in progress...

 ...followed by a lunch visit to Daddy's office.

On the way out the door I found our old CDs in our stored stuff. I grabbed them to test out our new 6-CD changer in our car.

These were CDs from several years ago. Back before we bought music on I-Tunes. Actual CDs from the 90s. Counting Crows and Pink and Jars of Clay and Backstreet Boys and Tim McGraw (yes, random collection) and a whole bunch of recorded mixes.

I was jammin' and singing the whole way. It was awesome. Songs I memorized years ago just came right back to me.

One of the CDs was a random mix that was put together by a friend several years ago while on summer staff at camp. One song popped up and as soon as the lyrics started I remembered. I remembered that it was a song I've listened to at the end of anything important. At the end of anything where I have had to say Goodbye. Because Goodbyes and Changes are always difficult.

I continue to have mixed emotions about being here. Did we make the right decision? While snuggling with Ruby this morning, my answer was absolutely yes. But in other moments, when faced with soaring prices in healthcare and cost of living, I'm not so sure.

So when this song came on, the lyrics just came right out and I suddenly found myself choked up. I couldn't quite sing them. But my heart felt them. Especially the chorus:

So walk down this mountain

With your heart held high

Follow in the footsteps of your maker

And with this love that's gone before you

And these people at your side

If you offer up your broken cup

You will taste the meaning of this life

(Walk Down This Mountain by Bebo Norman)

The mountain is always the thing I'm walking away from (in this case, life in Guatemala), and there are always people both sending us off and waiting for us at the bottom, in the new place. It's a reminder to walk away, down the mountain, with my head held high, towards new things, with people by my side.

And sometimes, all my doubts and fears flow out over the broken cup.

I've been blessed by people here in Oregon wanting to help and welcoming us home. One person is even throwing us a "pounding party" to help us stock our pantry. Several other people have sincerely offered to help us in any way. We're borrowing a car from one family. We are feeling the love and support of community here, though we haven't lived here in almost a decade.

And the second verse reminds me of community, and the very face of God on each of those helping us to transition and settle.

It's a common ground

And I see we're all still standing
Just look around and you'll find 
The very face of God

He's walking down into the distance

He's walking down to where the masses are

We've arrived to a new place, with new people, and we are trusting that this is the beginning of another mountain climb.

We ended the quick trip by driving by Ellie's new school.

Another beginning, coming soon.

Vehicle: Check!

We bought a minivan!

We've been in the US for a week.

We got keys to our apartment and Michael "moved in." We'll be renting a small U-Haul this weekend to move the rest of our stuff and officially move in as a family.

I'm looking forward to getting settled into our new home, showing Ellie where her new school is, showing the girls the parks nearby our place.

We did a lot of research on minivans and other vehicles. On Saturday Michael and I woke up early and headed to Portland to shop around. We had a list of places with the vans we were interested in. After several hours and test drives we ended up with a very low-miles 2007 Honda Odyssey. 

I love it, and the girls love it! We have so much space, and there are a lot of little features that I love. We are fully embracing the minivan stage of our lives. Lots of seats, extra space, sliding doors that open automatically. And did I mention lots of space? We drove a Mazda truck in Guatemala that was super tight with literally no room for anything except three carseats. 

We are really thankful for Grandparents available to watch our girls so we can do things like car shop for an entire day, and I am really thankful we found a solid, high-quality van.

I hope this will be our vehicle for a very, very long time. 

Some Down Time

Last Sunday we said Goodbye to our Church Family.

This is the girls' main Sunday School teacher. She's been a good friend and a special person for the girls.

My Mom and Stepdad came to visit us this week. We had planned their trip months ago, before we knew we were moving.

We took a much needed rest together as a family. We spent a few days swimming and playing in the sand. Michael and I had a long to-do list that we needed to get done before we left, and we did it! It felt wonderful to actually be able to let go of work things for a few days. Especially because we fly home July 3rd, have one day, and Michael starts work on the 5th. It will be a whirlwind.

So we played.

And relaxed.

And swam in the pool.

And swam in the ocean.

And practiced some moves.

It was a much needed break away from cell phones and work email and technology.

And now we are 5 days away from the next phase of our lives. Our last bag is almost packed. (Literally, it's at 38 pounds).

Last day of school, pictures, and packing

We're mostly packed. We've got a whole bunch of duffel bags and suitcases full of toys and books and clothes. We've organized the house and the office. We're typing up everything we can think of that would be helpful for future Reps, from logistics in the office, partner and project updates, and where the best local market is. We're almost there.

Of course, I can't be on top of everything. I thought today was the girls' last day of school, and that tomorrow was to be a Father's Day activity at the school. Whoops...the girls came home yesterday with all of their belongings, and today ended up being the Father's Day activity.

So, the girls are done with school. They wanted to make cards for their teachers this morning to say goodbye.

Ruby helped.

 I was pretty proud of the writing that both girls wanted to put on their cards.

"Kati: I'm going to miss you. Love, Ellie"

"Eva, Hazel. I will miss you."

The theme for Father's Day at school was Super Heroes, so they (sort of) dressed up and went to school with Michael.

Ruby turned 17 months this week. Mostly I write that so I have an excuse to put a couple of pictures of her helping me in the kitchen. She's learned to do a cheesy smile when I bust out the camera. She still loves to sit in her spot on the counter, says aca in Spanish (here), and "helps" me. It's her favorite spot in the whole house.

And finally, I wanted to take a better picture of Ruby with Rosa, our housekeeper. I plan to make some prints and give them to her as a gift. She's been a special little buddy to Ruby, and they will miss each other, I'm sure.

T Minus

We drove yesterday for 12 hours to arrive back home to Guatemala, after 10 days in Honduras.

We had meetings, said goodbye to our counterparts in other countries, and had a couple days to rest as a family and with friends.

Now we're at home and honed in on the fact that we have 25 days until we leave Guatemala.

I've been asked by several people if I will continue to write on this blog. Yes, I will. I've had this blog for years, and it will continue to be a place where I write and process life. I'm sure we will have much to think about as we transition to the States. 

I imagine I'll continue to reflect on how we may have changed in our three years, how priorities may have shifted. I think we will experience some levels of culture shock, though maybe not as stark as if we were living without access to so many North American amenities. My guess is that the changes and "shocks" will be subtle. We've talked a lot, Michael and I, about how we can be intentional with our choices and lifestyle as we go back to the States. How to live "simply" in an area where cost of living is very high. Purchases of furniture or toys or kitchen appliances...how can these be done in a way that resonates with who we are and what we want to instill in our girls?

We have fears, too. I fear losing my Spanish for lack of practice. I fear forgetting. That our girls will jump right into life and not notice many differences. I fear how easy the "American dream" and consumerism can become a seduction, and hope to find balance in that.

We are a mix of emotions these days. We are excited, tired, happy, sad, grieving, busy, ready, planning, packing, dreaming, waiting, expecting, hopeful.

New House

You may be wondering, why in the world did we move AGAIN? Fact: This move is #17 (18 locations) in 10 years of marriage.

We had been thinking about moving for a few reasons. Mainly, location. Our house was on a very busy road, not too far from the girls school, maybe a 25 minute walk (5 minute drive), but along the front of our house was a very narrow road, unpassable with a stroller. So, walking has not been an option like we'd hoped. The traffic is insane as it's a one-way road on a major thoroughfare, and large semis have to pass through very early in the morning, shaking the whole house. (Once I confused an actual earthquake for what I thought to be another semi-truck passing by).

We were looking at our calendar over the next several months. There are a lot of days where Michael will have to travel without us. This meant every time he leaves we would need to figure out transportation for the girls to get to school. It's a headache to deal with a taxi to and from school every day. This had become a big stress for me to think about.

More and more we were thinking that if only we lived closer to the new school and the office, we wouldn't need to worry about transportation.

Then of course there was the crazy construction behind our house. When we moved in a year ago there was one apartment building right next to our house, still being constructed. Little did we know that within one month of moving in the houses right behind us would be bulldozed to make room for a second 7-story building. And the construction has been non-stop since, sometimes as early as 5 in the morning until 11 at night, and weekends too. It was especially obnoxious those first few weeks home with Ruby when we were trying to rest during the day and all we could hear was BAM! BAM! and the whir of the saw right in our backyard.

The new apartment building creeping up behind our old house.

Our contract for the current house was up the first week of February, so I had looked maybe twice in the paper, with no luck. We decided that the only way we'd move is if we found a place within very close distance of the girls' school. That seemed very unlikely since we were looking in a very specific area. We thought we'd maybe drive around the area at some point and see if there were any For Rent signs around.

The task of moving didn't sound appealing, especially with a brand new baby, and given the craziness of our travel schedule.

A couple weeks ago we dropped the girls off at school and headed to get Ruby's Guatemalan birth certificate. A couple blocks from the school, we passed a rental sign. We hit reverse and wrote down the number. By the end of the day we had called and looked at it. It seemed really promising. The house was only two blocks from the girls' school! There were pros and cons compared to our current house, but the biggest pros were the nearness to the girls' school and the distance from the construction.

After some back and forth with the owners, they finally said it was ours.

So, last Sunday we started packing the house, and Tuesday we signed papers and moved in. It was fast, but we wanted to get in this week before Michael had to travel overnight on Friday. And next week he's gone for 6 days, so being able to walk to school every day is a huge bonus.

We are loving the house. There are so many little details about this house that are things we didn't seek out but are super thrilled with. Here's a few things I'm really thankful for in this new house:

1. The kitchen. I have actual counter space, more cupboards than I can use, and a pantry. And did I mention that I have counters, where I can actually cut food and stir and cook? Counters. A big deal.

2. Hot water. Any time of the day. Those are two separate things. In the old house, the way we were connected to the city water we often couldn't shower after 8am because the water pressure was so low. Also, too little water pressure meant our insta-hot water heater didn't work. So, showers had to be timed well, and even then it wasn't a guarantee. Now, we have plenty of hot water. And I can shower any time I want. Double bonus.

3. This guy.

He drives around our neighborhood every evening. He's from a local panaderia (bread shop). Any night we want bread, we can walk outside and buy it from him. I've also seen a woman who walks around selling tortillas during lunch and dinner.

4. Speaking of neighborhoods, we are in a U-shaped street with about 30 houses total. We have a guard and the neighborhood is super secure. If we have visitors at the gate, the guard will call our house to verify before they pass through. This means we can do things like walk around on the street and the girls can ride their bikes. We've already done it twice. In Ellie's words, it's "super fun." Being able to feel like we can walk a little and get outside of our driveway to ride bikes makes me feel like we're back in the States again.

Out on our first bike ride.

5. The girls' school is 2 blocks away, a 5 minute walk on a nice wide road with a sidewalk and lots of extra walking space. To drive and pick up the girls could take up to 45 minutes, because of the very organized pick-up system. Although this new school ends an hour earlier than their last school, they were still getting home at the same time because of the traffic. It was sucking up a lot of Michael's time to pick up the girls every day. Now, I can walk and get them in less time, plus get exercise while I do it. This also means we're now about a 25-minute walk to the office. We're only 2 blocks away from a staff member who walks every day, so I might just start joining her at some point.

6. Other little details about the house: the girls have a bar in their closet that is on the bottom half, so now they can reach all of their dresses themselves. We had just been saying how nice it would be if we had one in their closet, and now they have one. They love to come home from school every day and change into a dress, and now they can get them without our help.

7. We have a patio upstairs. It's connected to a great big living area where the girls now have their own play area. Also, notice the mural? It's a picture of the 7 days of Creation. In the upper left hand corner, is Day 1, lightness and darkness. And it continues through the stars and the animals and even Adam and Eve. Funny.

8. We have a little front yard and back yard, and the girls have already spent a lot of time in the front yard/driveway. I love that they can bop outside and play in our yard.

9. On the other end of the 2-story house is a separate set of stairs. At the top is one room, perfect for a guest room or office (we'll use it for both), with a bathroom at the bottom. Michael sometimes likes to work from home, but finds it difficult to do with the girls wanting his attention and trying to find space. Now he will have his own office space where he can work and get away when needed. Bonus room for sure. It will also make a great guest space away from the rest of our bedrooms.

10. Quiet. It's quiet. The loudest noises are birds and a few dogs barking (though luckily never at night).

11. We're within walking distance to the market.

12. Our new landlords live a few blocks away in a nearby colonia that has a huge green space, park with slides and swings, and a basketball court. The wife said we could walk there anytime and tell the guard we are visiting her so we can use the park. Finally, we live near some kind of outdoor park!

This house is such a good fit. Of course there are always some negatives to every place. We lost a master bathroom, a huge driveway, awesome neighbors, a bigger and more open living area space.

Our driveway at the old house. 

But, the pros absolutely outweigh the cons in this move, and we feel so blessed with the timing, and the little details, and the peace we feel about this. We are already completely unpacked, organized, and moved in. We've been working hard, and with the help of a few of our staff, we were able to get everything moved quickly. It was a crazy week, but it was fast, and more than worth it. We are so content.

Our living room