"This is Life"

My friend has said this to me a few times recently. Each time, I notice she's been studying my two active, energetic, joyful little girls. They are running around, laughing and playing and squealing.

I'm thinking more about how they might be bothering everyone in the room trying to enjoy adult conversation, but this woman is watching them and I know she's putting herself back in her own history, some 17 or 18 years ago. She has two daughters, and the youngest left the nest this week. Their nest is now empty, as we say.

That feels like an unimaginable time in the future for me, but at times I fear I will wake up and my girls will suddenly be adults and I will have slept through it. Or have been too frustrated with the messes and the tasks at hand to have noticed.

The job we began this week is a hard one. Within the first few days we had a staff member go to the hospital. We've had some unexpected curveballs thrown at us. We've literally broken open dusty filing cabinets that haven't been touched in years. We're up to our necks in information and discovering a little more every day how much about this job we don't yet know. Fortunately, between all the chaos of learning a new job there are threads of hope and purpose. Our team, our partners, the projects, the people impacted by the work here. These are good things.

Countless people have told us from day one: your family comes first. We nod our heads and agree. Of course. We will always put our girls first. And I'd like to think this is true, but I know the reality. 

The reality is we are fallible. There will be days when deadlines hit and our girls might get the short end of the stick. We will be tired and annoyed and lacking energy. My hope is that I can make up for those moments by being present in others, and that the intentional moments outnumber the chaotic ones.

Yesterday I learned that today is a holiday in which everything was closed, including school. I have an unexpected day at home with my girls. Truthfully, at first, I was annoyed that I had just found this out. We have so much to do in the office. I'm already only working half days and so to lose a day felt frustrating and the to-do list accumulates.

I read this article recently reminding me to slow down and enjoy moments with my daughters. To stop saying "hurry up." I'm trying. 

And so, I realized I received a gift today. An entire day with my girls. Something I haven't had in a while. It's rare. It's reminded me of the last two and a half years staying at home. At times I know I will miss that. I miss my girls when I'm working in the mornings. So today is a gift.

On several occasions this woman, while watching my girls play and giggle and squeal over adult conversation, with tears in her eyes as she contemplated her youngest daughter leaving her childhood behind, she reminds me,"this is life." It's a reminder that these every day moments make up life. My life. This is life. Some days are hard and I'm annoyed by the whining when I'm just trying to get dinner ready and no, I can't hold you right now, but, this is life. 

And I'm in it. 

And it's good.

My embraceable moments today:

Pajama Yoga

Playing together. Getting along. 

Another book lover in the making. And making a mess. 

"Mommy, let's build a train to my room!"

Curiosity. 

A special project for a special relative.

The battle that is nap time.
Today: Nap: 1- Ellie: 0

This is Life.