Enjoy Your Kids. No Seriously, It's Possible.

Up until recently the girls and I have traveled together with Michael on every trip we've needed to take. This job includes a lot of travel. At one point we counted over 100 days per year, and that includes trips to other countries for meetings, 3-4 day trips around Guatemala and El Salvador, and lots of meetings and visits.

We've acknowledged that this pace is not sustainable as a family of 4, and especially not as a family of 5. So, I'm going to have to get used to Michael being gone for 3-4 days at a time, often.

Michael left on Wednesday and gets home tonight. YAY! On the one hand, it's an extension of what I already do on a regular basis, which is stay at home with the girls every afternoon until dinner time. Michael usually gets home in time for dinner and to help with bedtime routines. The difference when he's traveling is bedtime. For any parents out there, I don't need to expand. Bedtime can be the most taxing 30 minutes to one hour of the day.

The first day I felt overwhelmed. The prearranged taxi didn't show up at the school to pick up me and the girls, so I had to call my neighbor to pick us up. That set off the rest of the day. Too many pee accidents by my resident 2 year-old (which is abnormal these days), who also chose not to nap, not to mention that it was Dia del Niño so both girls were extra ramped up from sugar and school festivities. I barely made it to bedtime. (In case you want proof, here is a video of the girls this night).

Day one: The TV and DVD player were my co-parent, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

The second day I chilled out. My mother-in-law texted me with some simple words: "Enjoy your time with the girls while Michael is gone." Oh yeah, that. I don't do that too often lately. I have fun moments with them but most days it feels like I'm just trying to accomplish tasks or get through the day until bedtime. But do I enjoy them? Do I enjoy the simple moments?

What a concept, to enjoy my girls! So, Thursday I did that. I had a great afternoon with Ellie, working on school projects, playing games, and coloring, and just trying to enjoy my girls. Of course, it helped a lot that Hazel napped. It's amazing how much my mood can be affected by someone else's nap!

Thanks, Buela and Buelo for the new coloring books we got in the mail!

In fact, I felt so relaxed and motivated and accomplished that I busted out all my scrapbooking supplies that night after bedtime. I brought Ellie's first year book here to Guatemala and have been stuck at about 10 months old since we got here. I have been feeling badly that I may never finish it, and worse, never start on Hazel's!

Scrapbooking is a form of relaxation for me, and there's probably a correlation between how long it's been since I've "crafted" and my general state of mind. The best news of all is that I completely finished Ellie's book. AND even more awesome, I finally printed Hazel's birth story and pictures and have already finished three of her pages! This momma is feeling on top of it! (Even if I finished Ellie's One Year book a couple weeks before she turns 4 and started Hazel's after she turned 2).

Yesterday was another reminder that one good day doesn't always mean two good days in a row. We were back to several accidents and short-tempers tantrums. At one point Ellie bit Hazel and my response was one of my ugliest mom moments. I know it happens, and Ellie and I talked about it soon after and I apologized for my reaction, but man, it's hard not to be impatient on Night Three of Parenting Alone! I know as a Mom I won't respond perfectly most of the time, if ever. But it's hard not to feel frustrated by our fallible responses, apology afterwards or not.

Today has been a good day, besides the girls waking up WAY TOO EARLY. Seriously, why didn't anyone tell them it was SATURDAY? However, my HUGE sense of accomplishment for having finished Ellie's book was totally worth the late night.

Today we've played and played and I've enjoyed their company. And bonus: so far no accidents to clean up, although I'm currently writing this while my youngest is singing upstairs in her room instead of napping. (Update post-nap: one accident. On. The. Couch. Grrrr.)

And Daddy comes home tonight! Hooray. The point in all of this is, some days are good, some days are not so good. I'm not thrilled with my patience level as a human being, and as a Mom my impatience is amplified times a thousand. It's hard not having other mom friends to talk to and remind me on a  regular basis, "that's normal to feel that way." But I know it is, and I have to keep reminding myself that it's normal. I also have to remind myself to enjoy my girls in between the craziness.