On Making Big Life Decisions from 30,000 Feet in the Air

I won't admit how many hours I've spent pouring over real estate websites, hoping and praying the market will suddenly change and become affordable in our area. We've looked at some pretty trashed, tiny places, and even many of them have been outside our budget. Our lease in our apartment ends May 4th, and we have needed a plan for what's next. We've spent hours debating where to live, what type of commute to tolerate, housing prices, and school options. At the end of the day, it always comes down to one major trump card: we are committed to the girls attending a dual-immersion (Spanish) school, and the district we are currently in has plans for dual language curriculum through high school. Most districts have a lottery and end up with a wait-list, but we got lucky and got into the program last Spring while still living in Guatemala, and our other two girls have automatic entrance as siblings into the program. It feels like the most obvious choice, but one that makes housing more difficult.

We've been discouraged by what we've seen, and had just decided that a townhouse might be a great option for us, if the right one popped up.

In the meantime, MCC (the organization we were in Guatemala with), sponsors a "Re-Entry" Retreat, in which people who have worked with MCC throughout the world and have returned back to the US and Canada spend some time together talking about the process of transitioning back to North America. We had been planning for months to attend this, and left last Thursday morning. There were people from all over Latin America, several African countries, Bangladesh and China, and two of our Guatemalan team members were there, too.

So fun to see ex-MCC Guatemalan team members!

Thursday morning, on the way to the airport, I got a notification of a townhouse that went on the market, 76 minutes earlier, to be exact. We were standing by our gate, about to board our flight.

"Michael, look at this gorgeous townhouse." I tossed my phone to him. "The biggest floor plan in the whole community...I think we should look into it. This will go super fast."

The market has been crazy and homes get multiple offers, often over the asking price, within a couple days of going on the market. We weren't going to be home until Sunday night, and I knew that this home in such great condition wouldn't last on the market for long.

I started texting my realtor, using the wi-fi on the airplane to be in touch with her and our lender. My mom was going to drive up and look at it, but then we decided to just trust our realtor with that task. She had seen enough houses with us to know what we were looking for. By mid-morning there were already back-to-back appointments lined up to view the home.

By Thursday night our realtor had seen the place and we were ready to move forward. We stayed up late Thursday night writing a letter to the Sellers to accompany our offer, which we submitted Friday afternoon. We heard on Saturday morning that they wanted one more night to review offer(s) as one of the owners was out of town and there were several showings of the home that had been scheduled before our offer and deadline came in.

10:00 AM on Sunday, we were to hear if they would accept or reject our offer. Talk about a whirlwind!

California Redwoods

In the meantime, we continued to attend sessions at this retreat, discussing and sharing with others who had lived overseas, most for several years. We also spent a couple hours in Santa Cruz, enjoying the chilly yet sunny beach.

We shared our hopes and fears of coming back to North America, of leaving our work and our relationships in the countries where we were assigned. Despite living in unique places and cultures all over the world, it was incredible to hear how similar our hopes and fears were.

There were some emotional parts of the weekend. I found myself more and more nervous to hear about this home. We've been "back home" in Oregon for about 7 months, and living in an apartment has been part of our transition, but it's been temporary. We've been amazingly blessed by how rapidly Michael's role changed at his work. We have "adjusted" in most ways to being back in the US, but this last piece, finding a home and committing for at least a few years has been hanging there, waiting.

Sunday morning, the last morning together, we were focusing on our transition back home, on letting go of painful situations that may have occurred during our service, on looking for hope in our future, on being resilient and never, ever forgetting lessons learned.

We started singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness." At some point, my phone buzzed, and I knew it was the realtor. I was pretty nervous but knew I wasn't going to check my phone until our session was over.

And these lyrics reminded me that God has provided for us in so many ways, and will continue to do that, whether this specific home is the right one for us, or something else:

Great is Thy faithfulness! 
Morning by morning new mercies I see. 
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided,
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Finally, the service ended, and I stepped outside, tears still in my eyes from this sense of peace and realization that God will provide, either way.

"Well," said my realtor to me on the phone. "There was one other offer submitted, but they accepted yours. Congratulations!"

I immediately started balling. The stress of the past several months of looking for housing, plus the emotional weekend of processing everything about leaving Guatemala early, returning to the US, and the relief of finding a home, all came down at once.

I told Michael during the craziness of working up our offer, as we found a coffee shop on Friday afternoon to E-sign our official offer letter from a State away without having seen the actual home (the pictures were super helpful), "We can never do simple." (I was remembering last May, signing our lease via E-sign for our current apartment by using Michael's cell phone as a hot spot, while driving through the Guatemalan hills towards Honduras. We really do these things in the most complicated manner possible, right?)

Obviously, nothing is set in stone until Closing, which won't happen until the end of April, but we are excited, thrilled, relieved, hopeful. God's timing continues to prove perfect, even comical, in our lives. Michael leaves tomorrow morning for three weeks to Africa. And the Chapman Craziness continues.

Fall

I've started writing this post several times, but it has taken weeks to find the time and/or energy to actually finish it.

Yes, we are busy, but it feels like that's not an anomaly. The America Dream, or something?

Ellie's has been playing soccer, with practices 1-2x per week, and a game every Saturday. And Michael is the coach.

Hazel is in a co-op preschool which means I volunteer 2x/month to be at her school from 9-12, helping in her class. It's a fun chance for me to watch Hazel interact with friends. I'm also the Secretary of the Board which means, at the least, monthly board meetings.

I'm attending two different MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) groups. I know how hard it is to find friends, and how important Mom friends are in this stage of my life, so I knew I wanted to find ways to connect and hopefully make some friends and be encouraged. One meets once per month, the other one meets twice a month.

I'm also training for a half-marathon. My race is this weekend. I'm looking forward to the race, and also to taking a break from training. I've stayed on a training schedule virtually for 12 weeks, up until last week where I haven't done much besides my long run of 11 miles. But, I feel ready to run 13.2 on Sunday. I really never thought I'd get there!

We have been attending a church in Portland and joined a Home Group that meets every Sunday night.

In the remaining free time that I have, usually 1-2 times per week, I am working as a substitute teacher, when jobs are available. Thankfully, in the last month, I've been able to work every single day that I've been available. We are really thankful my Mom is able to help with the girls when I work. Living near family has been a significant and welcome change for us.

We've had multiple fundraisers in the first month or so of school. We've collected Box Tops, Ellie had a Fun Run at her school, I sold pies for MOPS, Ellie sold First Aid kits for her soccer team, and now we are supposed to be selling wreaths and poinsettias for Hazel's preschool. This is a new world for us!

This all means we have a full calendar. There is so much nitty gritty going on. We celebrated Ellie's 6th birthday this week. Ruby moved into a big girl bed this week, and after a couple days of staying in her bed it's been a bit of a battle.

Birthday pancakes!

Visiting Ellie's class on her birthday.

Days are long but time is flying. We've been back in the States for more than three months. We still miss Guatemala and still wonder, in moments, if we did the right thing.

I went to Ellie's teacher conference this week. Her teacher told me that Ellie is probably the best Spanish speaker in the class. She does even better than the native speakers. How? Apparently she conjugates her verbs and has a wider vocabulary. So, this was a huge encouragement that we are in a good place. I share this because, of course, I'm a super proud Mama, but also, to remind myself that our time in Guatemala has been a building block to this stage in our lives. Ellie is thriving in her Kindergarten class. Hazel is thriving in her preschool. Ruby thrives wherever we go. At church or MOPS she walks right into her little class and doesn't look back. She plays at a friend's house on the mornings I work at Hazel's school, and she walks right in there, too. She loves to sit on my lap and read books for an hour at a time. She is thriving both at home with me and around other people.

Every time I start working in the kitchen this girl pushes her stool right over so she can help.

There is so much to be thankful for. I get to have quality time with all of my girls. We still have stress in our lives, but work and home stressors have changed since we moved back to the States. And we are enjoying time as a family. Also, we're glad to be back in Oregon, despite the rain.

Happy Fall!

Walk Down This Mountain

This morning the girls decided they missed Daddy. So we packed a picnic lunch and headed an hour North. I got to show the girls our new apartment for the first time, which they loved getting into their playroom...a work in progress...

 ...followed by a lunch visit to Daddy's office.

On the way out the door I found our old CDs in our stored stuff. I grabbed them to test out our new 6-CD changer in our car.

These were CDs from several years ago. Back before we bought music on I-Tunes. Actual CDs from the 90s. Counting Crows and Pink and Jars of Clay and Backstreet Boys and Tim McGraw (yes, random collection) and a whole bunch of recorded mixes.

I was jammin' and singing the whole way. It was awesome. Songs I memorized years ago just came right back to me.

One of the CDs was a random mix that was put together by a friend several years ago while on summer staff at camp. One song popped up and as soon as the lyrics started I remembered. I remembered that it was a song I've listened to at the end of anything important. At the end of anything where I have had to say Goodbye. Because Goodbyes and Changes are always difficult.

I continue to have mixed emotions about being here. Did we make the right decision? While snuggling with Ruby this morning, my answer was absolutely yes. But in other moments, when faced with soaring prices in healthcare and cost of living, I'm not so sure.

So when this song came on, the lyrics just came right out and I suddenly found myself choked up. I couldn't quite sing them. But my heart felt them. Especially the chorus:

So walk down this mountain

With your heart held high

Follow in the footsteps of your maker

And with this love that's gone before you

And these people at your side

If you offer up your broken cup

You will taste the meaning of this life

(Walk Down This Mountain by Bebo Norman)

The mountain is always the thing I'm walking away from (in this case, life in Guatemala), and there are always people both sending us off and waiting for us at the bottom, in the new place. It's a reminder to walk away, down the mountain, with my head held high, towards new things, with people by my side.

And sometimes, all my doubts and fears flow out over the broken cup.

I've been blessed by people here in Oregon wanting to help and welcoming us home. One person is even throwing us a "pounding party" to help us stock our pantry. Several other people have sincerely offered to help us in any way. We're borrowing a car from one family. We are feeling the love and support of community here, though we haven't lived here in almost a decade.

And the second verse reminds me of community, and the very face of God on each of those helping us to transition and settle.

It's a common ground

And I see we're all still standing
Just look around and you'll find 
The very face of God

He's walking down into the distance

He's walking down to where the masses are

We've arrived to a new place, with new people, and we are trusting that this is the beginning of another mountain climb.

We ended the quick trip by driving by Ellie's new school.

Another beginning, coming soon.

Projects

Every day we've been trying to accomplish some task. We've gotten a lot accomplished in a little over a week. We got US cell numbers (reusing our super old phones), bought a van, got car insurance, found a bed and a dining room table on Craigslist, refurnished some toys. Michael started a new job, we signed papers on a new apartment and have moved in some things. We've unpacked the kitchen in the apartment and several duffel bags we brought from Guatemala.

I'd say we've been productive.

My mom found this easel at a garage sale and I repainted the chalkboard with chalkboard paint. That stuff is awesome. Another new (to us) toy that I imagine will get hours and hours of use.

And they found this unfinished dresser. I spent yesterday and today adding a layer of stain. My first staining project.

Halfway done

Finished

We are ready to move in all the way this weekend!

Car Antics

I spent several hours at a car dealership today getting my van checked out.

It was worth it, because I got great news. The car we got was a great deal, with no problems. In fact, I was told it is a super clean, well-maintained van in great shape. YAY! I got a few basic maintenance things taken care of, and our van is good to go.

Our "golden van," as Hazel calls it. (How else to describe the color champagne to a 4-year old?)

This whole process has reminded me of how we haven't been in the US for a while. There are things we have forgotten.

Like...

When we were purchasing our van, they asked us for a copy of our insurance card. We looked at each other and realized, oh yeah, car insurance. So we had to call and get insured before we could finish the purchase. Thankfully insurance can be had by a 30-minute phone call.

And then today while sitting in the waiting room, two women were chatting in Spanish and I realized I miss talking in Spanish. I'm afraid of how quickly my brain will forget Spanish. Eventually I ended up in the bathroom at the same time as the older woman and started chatting with her. We ended up chatting for quite a while until my car was ready. She told me all about her two sons, one a successful businessman who recently bought her an almost brand-new car, and her other son, who is addicted to drugs and alcohol. Sad story. It turned out, she doesn't speak English at all and was happy to have someone to talk to.

I'm wondering how to continue to use my Spanish. There are a lot of people in Oregon who have family members that come from Latin America, but they may not speak Spanish themselves. You can't assume one speaks Spanish, and there might be a preference to only use English. Something to continue to ponder.

On a really fun note, my Mom and stepdad built this gorgeous play kitchen as a gift to the girls. It's adorable and precious, and the girls absolutely love it. I can't wait to put it in our new apartment.

 

I love all the details. Chalkboard paint on the fridge. A real sink and faucet and a backsplash.

And the knobs for the stove and oven came all the way from Guatemala.

So many things to be thankful for in our first week back to the States.

Vehicle: Check!

We bought a minivan!

We've been in the US for a week.

We got keys to our apartment and Michael "moved in." We'll be renting a small U-Haul this weekend to move the rest of our stuff and officially move in as a family.

I'm looking forward to getting settled into our new home, showing Ellie where her new school is, showing the girls the parks nearby our place.

We did a lot of research on minivans and other vehicles. On Saturday Michael and I woke up early and headed to Portland to shop around. We had a list of places with the vans we were interested in. After several hours and test drives we ended up with a very low-miles 2007 Honda Odyssey. 

I love it, and the girls love it! We have so much space, and there are a lot of little features that I love. We are fully embracing the minivan stage of our lives. Lots of seats, extra space, sliding doors that open automatically. And did I mention lots of space? We drove a Mazda truck in Guatemala that was super tight with literally no room for anything except three carseats. 

We are really thankful for Grandparents available to watch our girls so we can do things like car shop for an entire day, and I am really thankful we found a solid, high-quality van.

I hope this will be our vehicle for a very, very long time. 

Oregon Stereotypes

The stereotypes of Oregon are so valid. 

This morning we walked to the park. One child wore shorts and a tank top. 

Another had pants and a sweatshirt. 

Another wore rain boots. All carried umbrellas. All were appropriate choices. 

Within a few minutes I fluctuated between needing a sweatshirt and needing sunglasses. And then a sweatshirt again. 

It was great. Also what was great was we were at a park. 

Walking to the park as pedestrians, cars kept stopping for us to cross the street. Hazel noticed. "Mom, that was so kind," when yet another car stopped while we waited on the corner. Yup. Oregon loves pedestrians. 

Something I missed a lot as a mom with young kids while living in Guatemala was access to parks. Places to take my kids to run and play and scream and just be kids. In Guatemala we mainly had to rely on going to the mall where there was an indoor play place or the myriad of fast food places with plastic play areas. There is not much outside that is free or public or safe. 

In the less than a week that we've been in the States, I've vacillated between many thoughts. I'm simultaneously glad we're here and at other moments wonder if all the choices we've made are the best. Self-doubt enters in the midst of uncertainty and change.

We have made several decisions in a short amount of time. Where to live and where to enroll Ellie for Kindergarten. And the decisions will continue. We have furniture to buy, a car to find, an apartment to settle. 

I'm content. Michael is learning the ropes at his new job. I can already see that the levels of stress we lived under in our last job have virtually vanished (stress due to the types of responsibilities that fell on our shoulders running a bi-country program, and the limited help in the office). 

Every day I wake up and play with my girls. We're still in transition, living out of suitcases, so it's not always tranquil. Things feel chaotic. But, we feel at peace. This was and is the best choice for our family. 

I foresee several hours at parks and playgrounds in our future. 

Regalitos (small gifts)

We received this sweet gift from our church. It's an indigenous mother with a baby on her back. I look forward to displaying it in our home in Oregon and thinking of our friends here.

We are giving this gift to our housekeeper, as a Thank You and a special memory for her of Ruby. She has spent the most time with Ruby, and they have a sweet bond. Just yesterday when Rosa was leaving for the day, Ruby started yelling, "no," ran up to her, and wouldn't let her put her down. Rosa gets tears in her eyes every day now, knowing we are leaving in a few days.

"The house is so empty," she keeps telling me. We are almost all packed.

We took our last trip to Antigua this weekend. I took several pictures on my Mom's camera but only have a couple here that I took. It was fun to get a few last minute souvenirs, and I look forward to hanging some of our purchases in our new home. Little pieces of Guatemala on our walls.

Some hairs cut

The girls have been wanting to get their hair cut for months. I think the last time they got it cut was when they had lice...almost a year ago.

Hazel has been, surprisingly, the most excited about it.

I finally took them today. It's very cheap to get their hair cut here, and I wanted to take advantage of that before we move back North where everything is double or triple the price.

When Hazel's cut was almost done, she started crying.

"It's too long, still," she said in between sobs. (The woman cutting her hair was worried she had cut it too short).

Then, "I miss Daddy!" More sobs.

And then she was fine. I'm not sure what happened. I think she thought she was going to cut it even shorter. She got maybe 4 inches cut off.  I told her we could go back if she decides later it's still too long.

Their new dos.
(Ellie has decided Hazel looks just like her cousin Adelynn now.)

The girls have decided they are tired of Daddy going on so many trips by himself (he's currently on a trip to visit a project here in Guatemala that will be part of his new job). After Ellie was crying in her bed last night, missing Daddy, and Hazel today asking repeatedly when Daddy will get home, I have assured them that a part of why we are moving to Oregon is so that Daddy will travel less. They are very happy about that.

Another affirmation that we are making a good choice to move.

Some Down Time

Last Sunday we said Goodbye to our Church Family.

This is the girls' main Sunday School teacher. She's been a good friend and a special person for the girls.

My Mom and Stepdad came to visit us this week. We had planned their trip months ago, before we knew we were moving.

We took a much needed rest together as a family. We spent a few days swimming and playing in the sand. Michael and I had a long to-do list that we needed to get done before we left, and we did it! It felt wonderful to actually be able to let go of work things for a few days. Especially because we fly home July 3rd, have one day, and Michael starts work on the 5th. It will be a whirlwind.

So we played.

And relaxed.

And swam in the pool.

And swam in the ocean.

And practiced some moves.

It was a much needed break away from cell phones and work email and technology.

And now we are 5 days away from the next phase of our lives. Our last bag is almost packed. (Literally, it's at 38 pounds).

Last day of school, pictures, and packing

We're mostly packed. We've got a whole bunch of duffel bags and suitcases full of toys and books and clothes. We've organized the house and the office. We're typing up everything we can think of that would be helpful for future Reps, from logistics in the office, partner and project updates, and where the best local market is. We're almost there.

Of course, I can't be on top of everything. I thought today was the girls' last day of school, and that tomorrow was to be a Father's Day activity at the school. Whoops...the girls came home yesterday with all of their belongings, and today ended up being the Father's Day activity.

So, the girls are done with school. They wanted to make cards for their teachers this morning to say goodbye.

Ruby helped.

 I was pretty proud of the writing that both girls wanted to put on their cards.

"Kati: I'm going to miss you. Love, Ellie"

"Eva, Hazel. I will miss you."

The theme for Father's Day at school was Super Heroes, so they (sort of) dressed up and went to school with Michael.

Ruby turned 17 months this week. Mostly I write that so I have an excuse to put a couple of pictures of her helping me in the kitchen. She's learned to do a cheesy smile when I bust out the camera. She still loves to sit in her spot on the counter, says aca in Spanish (here), and "helps" me. It's her favorite spot in the whole house.

And finally, I wanted to take a better picture of Ruby with Rosa, our housekeeper. I plan to make some prints and give them to her as a gift. She's been a special little buddy to Ruby, and they will miss each other, I'm sure.