Finish a Half-Marathon: Check!

The more time that passes, the more there is to write about, the less motivated I am to write.

Call it some law of don't-wanna-blog or something.

Or maybe it's the fact that while writing those first two sentences my almost two-year old interrupted me twice to ask for a clothes change and a cup of milk. And all three of my children are running around the small apartment playing hide and seek and their screams are echoing in my head.

But when the few faithful readers, like my grandparents, remind me that they haven't seen an update in a while, I finally decide to click "new post" and attempt to write.

I've recently been avoiding all things political which means I've tried my hardest (and mostly failed) to not post things on facebook that are political, and tried to focus on my kids and life. I'm afraid of the small glimpses in myself of anger and frustration at this country and at the potential four years we have ahead of us with a man that would talk about women, like my three girls someday, the way he does...well, I'm going to stop myself there. I just can't.

So, instead...

My Half-Marathon! Never do I remember setting such a specific goal and completing it!

My first goal, of course, was to register for one and complete one in 2016. (I wrote about it way back on January 1st.). I'm not a long distance runner, and before this had never run more than 3-4 miles. So 13.1 sounded crazy to me!

As I'm a super literal person, I downloaded my training plan and set to work. Having a written plan really helps me, and I stuck to it! I don't think I missed a single run (maybe once?). A typical training plan involves running about 4 days a week, with some cross training that I mostly didn't do. I ran my long runs on Sundays, and for most of my training I ran the weekday runs early in the morning before Michael left for work. It was a commitment to wake up and run while it was still dark, but quickly 5 miles felt like a short run!

I couldn't have and wouldn't have done this race if my friend Lissa hadn't found the race and asked me to join her in training for it. Just knowing someone else was running and trying to balance life and kids and training was really helpful. I recommend finding someone to train alongside if you ever want to do a race.

Lissa and me at the starting line

Not only did I complete my first goal, which was to finish, but my second (and not as important) goal was to see if I could run it in under 2 hours. My final time was 1:58. I was beyond thrilled.

Race day was beautiful and the weather was cold but not freezing with no rain-perfect running weather. (Most of these pictures are from Lissa.) The race claims to be the most scenic marathon/half marathon in the US, and you can see why. It was beautiful. Yellow and orange leaves. A view of the Columbia River Gorge.

I'm proud of myself for finishing and working so hard. I have to admit I've only gone for one quick run since that day, over a month ago. I've needed a break and I've been doing some intense cardio/boxing videos. I'd like to do a half-marathon again, maybe in the Spring when the sun is out more and I don't have to train in the dark.

Lissa caught a picture of me as we passed each other near the halfway mark.

FINISHERS!

I'm now working on a different weight loss goal, as I learned soon into my training that you can't count on weight loss to happen when you are running such long distances. The body has to hang on to calories and it just didn't happen.

I'm proud of myself and was thankful that Michael was so supportive of me. He often encouraged me to get out the door on those mornings or afternoons when I didn't really feel up for a run. He and the girls cheered me on on race day, and it was fun to show the girls how setting a goal and completing it is possible and rewarding. We've been talking now at home about setting goals, and it's fun to have a good example of that. 

Why I'm Going Back Into My Shell

Other possible titles for this post: 

My Coming Out (Politically-speaking, of course)

Why Facebook Sucks

Clinton is a Curse Word

Equality vs. Equity

Can you be Liberal AND Christian? 

 They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love

I think I'm going to retreat back into my shell. My I-don't-give-two-hoots-about-politcs shell.

A while back I learned that sometimes (maybe ALL times) it's not worth getting into theology and politics. Those two things are too personal and touchy for people. Especially via Facebook. People don't want to hear what the other side has to say. Minds are made up. Arguing for the sake of arguing is not enjoyable for me.

Although, people can change their views. I did.

I grew up in a conservative Christian, pro-military, Republican (I was unsure how Christians could be Democrats) household. And now I'd describe myself as a Politically Moderate to Liberal, Pacifistic, Democratic, Progressive Christ-follower. I work for a Mennonite organization that espouses peace and non-violence.

Heck, I might even be a Democratic Socialist. (Read this link before you jump to conclusions. Think FDR.) I'm not really into labels, and have avoided putting myself in any of these categories. But, there it is.

Several of my friends and family members are part of or have been part of the military: a parent, step-parent, multiple siblings, uncles, cousins, and great-grandparents. Interestingly, almost every single one also proclaims a Christian faith. There's not a lot of room to be pro-peace or anti-violence/war without causing some waves in those circles, so I try to keep my theology and questions to myself.

My point is, I changed my point of view, so others can, too. It is possible. Dialogue isn't always fruitless.

Shortly after college I started a blog to explore my metamorphosing views. It was called Fade 2 Gray, because I was wrestling with so many issues that I had always seen as black and white and wanted a space to ask questions, like, "Would Christ be Pacifist?"

I changed and grew and questioned because I saw a disconnect between what Christians said and did and what the Bible said. (Cue Ghandi quote: I don’t reject Christ. I love Christ. It’s just that so many of you Christians are so unlike Christ.)

"Love your neighbor," and "Do not kill," except during war, when you can kill whomever you think could be your enemy or threatens your security. What about love your enemies? Where are we promised freedom from oppression? I'm not unpatriotic, I'm just not nationalistic.

I digress...this post isn't about why I'm anti-war or pro-peace.

A couple weeks ago I had intentionally secluded myself from the world of the Presidential Election in the US. I could name only 3 candidates out of, like, 20. Because of past experiences posting politically charged articles on Facebook and being burned fairly strongly by family, I had crawled into a shell. It wasn't worth the stress and inner-turmoil it caused me. And let me assure you, I had an incident with family that hurt me. I was judged and dismissed and it caused both.

But when I read Trump's comments recently about how he could kill someone and he wouldn't lose his followers, I decided to chime in, knowing that a large portion of family and friends are Republican and probably would vote for him if he won the Republican nomination, because, "anything is better than another Democrat."

So I made the decision to engage, read, and study the candidates' perspectives. I wanted to have an educated opinion on the issues, not just from snippets I caught on Facebook (my main source for news and information since I don't watch American TV or read American newspapers). I learned a few things. Like, Bernie Sanders isn't actually a Socialist. That surprised me.

And I had some good conversations. Enlightening. Helpful. At moments intense and heated, which make me nervous and anxious. I don't like being misunderstood, misinterpreted. I tried to be careful in how I shared and what I said, to do it thoughtfully and respectfully. It's a weird thing to be told by one person how much they appreciate my words and thoughts, while another person takes offense to the same comments.

After a week or two of engaging, discussing, sharing articles, trying to explore facts and filter all the information through a lens of love your neighbor, help the oppressed and widows and "least of these," avoid greed and love of money, after doing all this I feel like I want to go back into my shell. I get so tired of being misunderstood (like the Pink song...she understands me).

This isn't to say I can't handle debates or different opinions. What I get tired of is my integrity and motivation being called into question. My faith even.

I'm pro-life, but not just lives in utero. There are other lives at stake as well. I believe in the pursuit of social justice. I believe the Church should be more focused on physical needs as well as spiritual, but until it is, I'm OK with the government helping people who need it. I believe history proves the US has done a lot of damage to a lot of people both in the US and abroad and there is endless work to be done to repair wrongs. That there is a difference between equity and equality. I believe love should "trump" all other things (pun intended). We should be known for our Love. I believe hate is dangerous, especially when masked as something else. I don't believe America has a God-given right to be the greatest country on earth, especially at the expense of others.

We filter these issues through our own tainted lens, and we need to do our best to be kind, polite, respectful, and open-minded. To agree to disagree and not call into question the motives of others. Iron sharpening iron.

I write this for myself as much as for others. In my search for Truth, I have found myself profoundly confused how I can read the same Words as another person and come to completely and utterly opposite conclusions.

That is humanity. We are all a work in progress.

I'm still a work in progress, and I welcome your respectful, thoughtful, educated responses. I hope you can respect mine.

Ironically, writing this blog makes me anxious, but I still want to share it.

Ok, Back into my shell.