Not a gold-star kind of day

Yesterday was a rough day as a Mama. I'm parenting it solo again for a few days and that always adds some stress. I found it especially ironic yesterday that I had a frustrating morning with my girls, especially with my oldest, because I was trying to hurry out the door so I could get to a Mother's Day breakfast at church.

I was NOT feeling like I deserved to be praised for my mothering skills, yet there I went.

The bedtime routine was not better. I was on edge and impatient and bath time often annoys me. Some parents talk about how much they love bedtime and the routine. I mostly dread the whining and fighting, though I can simultaneously relish and appreciate the bedtime snuggles and reading once we finally arrive to that part of the evening. You know, those last 15 minutes of the day.

Some days, some moments deserve a gold star for patience and good mothering. Yesterday was not one of them. I felt defeated. Deflated. I imagine many parents feel that way after a long day with the kiddos, despite our best intentions.

I can't help but wonder, if there feels to be more frustrated moments than good ones, am I causing permanent damage? Am i wrecking my kids in the way I handle mundane situations? What of my responses are creating new synapses in their brains?

Our kids pick up everything. Everything. When I get frustrated I make an obnoxious grunting noise. My girls now do that when they're frustrated. It's not a cute sound to hear, especially knowing it's a reflection of my own impatience.

I know what all the parenting advice says. Model good behavior. Model politeness. Model self-control and kindness. Knowing best practices and acting on them are not the same thing.

This morning I woke up determined. I woke up early, I showered before the baby woke up. I made a hot breakfast. I was determined to greet the girls with a positive attitude and an unrushed morning routine. And it worked. They got dressed without arguing. They were calm and happy and kind to each other. The morning went smoothly. A gold-star morning, I'd say. Today I deserve a Mother's Day breakfast.

So much about parenting is the small choices, the attitudes we choose. As Daniel Tiger says, "When you feel so mad you want to roar, take a breath and count to four." I need to practice modeling that for my kids. Such wise words from PBS Kids.

Also, I had Adele playing all morning. I think that may have been the real secret to our successful morning. My determination, and all four of us (yes, even my 1-year old belts it out) singing on the top of our lungs, "HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE..." as we got dressed, brushed our teeth, did the Morning Things. A helpful parenting tip. We've got to share those when we have nuggets of success. You're welcome.